Strictly final

[zico]

Tonight each couple does 3 dances, the judges are scoring just for fun but will give mostly 10’s (except maybe Craig) and it’s completely down to the public vote, so pretty much a Louise coronation night – let’s hope she at least makes a bit of an effort in return for her Glitterball.

It’s just one long show for the final. Normally it’s split into 2 parts with an unrelated programme between so the BBC can get a few more viewers for a 40-year old Two Ronnies repeat, and the contestants can have a bit of a rest and get at the free drinks bar, but not this year thanks for Will Young having decided “ I think I’d better leave right now” early in the series.

Uninspiring opening routine from the pros and each finalist is revealed in giant glitterballs like a Faberge egg (only much cheaper) before clips of our finalists telling us they’d quite like to win. Tess has a sparkly black number and a troll hairstyle, Claudia is decked out in sparkly silver, Len has a pinstriped suit and Bruno has made a suit from his grandma’s purple floral curtains.

Round 1

Round 1 is the judges’ pick – formerly known as “Show us your worst dance again” but now rebranded as “The dance we think you could get 10’s for if you don’t muck it up like you did last time”. To announce their choices to our couples, the judges are again sat in the golden Beckham wedding thrones which are wheeled out every Strictly final and must be about 4 years old by now.

Ore & Joanne (American Smooth Foxtrot). This is the “Singing in the rain” tribute dance where Joanne wears a yellow oilskin coloured dress and Ore has a brolly. Ore has added extra personality for this dance consisting of a bit of annoying head-wobbling and more gurning to the camera. At the end they both do the ice-skating routine of acting amazed at how perfect their performance was. Craig talks about missed foot pointing, tells him “you’re a miracle” and just gives him 9 for a total of 39. There’s a very bored looking man indeed in the front row, what’s he doing there?

Louise & Kevin (Cha-cha). Judges have given them the “Flashdance” routine, saying it’s from her “couldn’t be bothered” weeks on Strictly. (They keep trying to convince us Louise has been trying harder for the last few weeks.) Routine starts and Louise is really lack-lustre here, just like the first time she did the routine. Come on Louise, it’s the final, at least try to pretend you’re bothered! Bruno says “Well placed and precise” in amongst his usual Louise hyperbole (he mentions she’s beautiful for the 95th time). Meanwhile Craig damns her with faint praise saying “Your hip action has come on noticeably” and Darcey hits the nail squarely on the head with her comment “Natural ease. You never overdo it”. Darcey joins Craig in handing out a 9, so 38 for Louise. Redknapp royalty in the audience tonight with honest Harry Redknapp.

Danny & Oti (Quickstep). For this routine Danny starts off playing an orchestra conductor, and it’s fast but there looks to be a bit of a mix-up near the end. Tess tells us that Oti got her heel caught in the dress, but it looks like Danny also messed up. Judges are sad, basically saying it was great apart from the mistakes, and advising them to put this behind them and concentrate on their next dances. Even Len and Bruno can’t give a 10 for this so it’s four 9’s for 36.

We get a recap of all the dances tonight, all 3 of them, for the benefit of any goldfish watching. I reckon Ore’s gained ground on the other two after round 1.

Round 2 - All-Important Show Dance (AISD)

Ore & Joanne talk in rehearsal about their AISD, and how dangerous it is and how they are constantly flirting with absolute disaster. Ore also says “We want our show dance to show the public what we’ve gone through”. How thoughtful. Song is Gershwin’s “I got rhythm”. As it’s Ore, we inevitably start with a fair bit of strutting and posing before the actual dancing which is a few excerpts from their previous weeks. There are a few giant drums on stage, which they use to leap about a bit on, Ore slides down a bannister and then it’s over. Absolute disaster and tragedy have been successfully averted, but it’s a bit… OKish. Bruno quotes the song title “Who could ask for anything more” and when Craig says “Brilliant” we know it’s a 40.
Louise & Kevin. They are dancing to Whitney’s “One moment in time” and their routine will allegedly be telling us the story of Louise’s Journey. Louise says “Let’s smash it”, she’s probably learned this phrase from hubby Jamie. Their dance starts with Louise curled up on the floor holding her head in some kind of posed tribute to a Basil Fawlty tantrum, then Kevin lifts her up and we get lots of wafty lyrical ballet stuff which is Louise’s forte. Judges rave about her expressiveness and fluidity but Craig says it went wrong at this end, so it’ll be no forty from Louise’s forte. Darcey again joins Craig in savagely dishing out a mere 9, so 38 for Louise.

Danny & Oti. Dancing to Adele’s “Set Fire to the Rain”. They have a prop, a giant pretend mirror which is actually an empty frame. They do a few mirroring routines on either side of the prop, then there’s a bit of jumping through the “mirror”, some lifts, and Danny kicks the mirror over at the end while Oti jumps through it to be caught by him. I was expecting this show dance to be brilliant, but it’s pretty disappointing. What do I know though? Judges are super-impressed and Craig says it’s totally brilliant, so that’s 40 for Danny.

To me, Louise looks to have won round 2 with Danny being particularly disappointing.

Round 3 (Favourite dance)

Ore & Joanne (Jive). Rehearsal – last dance together, tears. This is the dance that really launched Ore as a contender. It’s a great performance by him with lots of flashy fast footwork. Excellent stuff and his dance that I’ve most enjoyed. Len tells Ore he’s the spirit of Strictly and has had no previous dance experience (at least none that anyone’s uncovered as yet) just in case we missed him telling us this last week. Perfect 40 from the judges, and Ore is struggling to hold back the tears.

Louise & Kevin (Argentine Tango). Rehearsal – last dance together, tears – even from Louise. Unsurprisingly, they’ve picked the one dance where Louise actually got fully involved in the dance. It’s just as good as the first time, and certainly her best dance of the series. Another bunch of 10’s gives Louise 40. The Bored Man in the front row is now Angry Bored Man after an apparent tiff with his partner, visible to only 10 million viewers.

Danny & Oti (Rumba). In rehearsal, rather than doing “last dance together, tears” Danny has some mates in Santa hats telling us how great he is, and even a couple of his young cousins singing his praises. No other celebs have done this tonight so I wonder if Danny has broken a gentleman’s agreement not to use friends and family. Their rumba was the best dance of the series first time round, and though it doesn’t now have the same surprise impact when they suddenly up the pace, it’s still a great routine. Len tells us his make-up artist says to him “You can’t improve on perfection” and Craig says “Fab-u-lous” so that’s another 40. Oti gets emotional and says “I hate crying on TV” to which Claudia responds “Talk to Ore” which gets a big laugh.

Round 3 really just showed us that their best dances were indeed their best dances, but it was good to see the routines again. The meaningless judges’ scores have Ore in front, with Louise second and Danny last, which is exactly the opposite order I'd have had them.

So that’s it for the dancing and there’s still a whopping 45 minutes to go, which is a lot of airtime to fill. How many recaps can we cope with? We start with a recap of all 9 dances then some vox-popping about this year’s Strictly. General public say the show is amazing, the celebs have been amazing, the sets are amazing, the costumes are amazing, the singers are amazing, the band are amazing, and the pros are, yes amazing. They don’t mention the guest singers though!

After all that amazingness, we need something a bit less amazing, perhaps even downright dull so it's over to Emilie Sande who duly delivers. Giovanni and Katya are providing the entertainment here. We then have a few minutes for a Len tribute as it’s his last ever Strictly show (he’s retiring from being a TV judge, except of course for the USA version as that’s far better paid and is set in LA rather than Elstree). The pros do an old-fashioned ballroom routine for him and people say nice things about him.

It’s time for a group dance featuring all the celebs who were voted off previously. They each get about 15 seconds in the limelight, and obviously the highlight is Ed with “Gangnam Style”. No mention of Will Young, he’s become an Unmentionable for deserting his Strictly post.

Finally, it’s time to announce that Louise is the winner, though maybe Danny is in with a faint chance. Some brief tense music and then the winner is – Ore! Big surprise - I really wasn’t expecting that, but fairly pleased he’s won, though it’s a bit of a shame for Danny who has been clearly the best dancer, but got tagged as a dance school “ringer”. Ore and Joanne are also surprised, nay shocked,and both are in tears now, as is Kevin. Tess & Claude interview Danny & Louise first to give Ore & Joanne a chance to compose themselves. Ore tells Joanne how much he loves her and how this is the best experience of his whole life, while his wife looks on from the audience.

I had a look at the bookies’ odds after the final. Apparently the result was a surprise to them too, as Danny and Louise were joint favourites, and Ore was 7/1 against.

Joanne has done a great job with routines for Ore, really playing to his strengths and hiding his weaknesses. It’s sad to see Len go, as he had some of the best patter but hopefully Karen Hardy will be replacing him as the judge who knows about proper ballroom and Latin dancing. Dear BBC, please not Anton! Next year it would be good to get a higher proportion of useless but funny celebs to spice things up a bit. It’s not been the best ever Strictly, but it’s still entertaining with plenty of highlights and there’s clearly lots of life in the old format yet. Tess and Claudia work well together as frontpersons for the show.

So it’s all over for Strictly this year apart from the knockabout Christmas Day one-off show.
What did you think of it this year?

[muddle]

I loved it. Living in a house hold that is fully male (including the hamster) my weekly dose of sequins is something to be treasured!
Thanks for your write ups I've had a little giggle at them every week.
Just a minor point - I think you have your Rumba mixed with your Samba - I'm an expert on Danny's Samba but am showing great restraint as I have only replayed it 3 times so far.
I did tip Ore to win very early on but didn't put my money where my mouth was - shame.
Onwards to the Christmas special!

[panamagold]

Nice job zico.

Always enjoy your reviews.

The best series yet. Could be because this group of pros and celebs all came across as decent people unlike some of the jackasses who have graced the Pergo.

We had Ore tagged to win from week 1. The final made us realise why. Danny, or pacca as we always referred to him (pacca mac?) was the best showman but we thought Ore was the better dancer.

'Ore tells Joanne how much he loves her and how this is the best experience of his whole life, while his wife looks on from the audience.'

Cracked me up that one did. I wonder how breakfast panned out in the Obuda household on Sunday?

'but hopefully Karen Hardy will be replacing him as the judge'

Thou jests? That's someone who needs a good slap (along with Ore for all his weeping) although she did a memorable salsa(?) with Mark Ramprakash. The smart money is, apparently, on Frankie Boyle.

Well, all done and dusted for another year then. See you next September.

Cheers

panamagold

[Hallucigenia]

Not surprised by the result - Ore was the first finalist in over three years without a stage school or similar background, and historically if those kind of people manage to get through to the final they usually do pretty well (think Chris Hollins versus the two from Hollyoaks etc). The latter stages are more of a popularity contest than a dance contest, and the dance-off was a warning, Danny just didn't come across as particularly likeable even if he ticked the "totty" and (less important) "good-at-dancing" boxes.

I thought it was probably the choreography that was the clincher - as a sporadic Strictly watcher I was rather underwhelmed by the AISDs. Danny's seemed to be all angry strutting and glaring and not much dancing, like PMQs set in an A-ha video - I was half expecting him to turn into a pencil-drawn Jeremy Corbyn. Louise just seemed a bit under-rehearsed (did they mention that they have a lot to do in the final week?) and a bit disjointed and...vanilla, whereas at least OrJo had a showdance that looked like dancing and put on a show and had some coherence, even if the lighty-up-steps bit felt like a bit of an afterthought. Wasn't she a showdance world champion?

Otherwise - Emeli Sandé was dull, as too many of the guests have been this year. Admittedly you could barely hear her through all the audience noise - have some bleeding respect. Liked the arrangment of Gangnam Style, shame about the visuals. Some of the pen portraits of the contestants life/Strictly time were interesting - Lesley's life is apparently that of an old woman drinking on her own, Laura gets loads of male attention without it seems actually doing anything, Greg can jump and that's about it. The Len ballroom bit was sweet - and it was a bit of a reminder how little ballroom there was in the rest of the show.

CW has managed to be a bit less really-annoying this year - it seems to have coincided with her going easy on the panda eyes, there must be some brain-altering chemicals in eyeshadow.

Hope they replace Len with a hardcore dance person (ie not another Ms Dixon) who's not appeared on Strictly as a pro, I think it's good for the judges to have a bit of distance from the dancers otherwise it gets too lovey-dovey, it's like a player-manager in football.

[cavebat]

Hope they replace Len with a hardcore dance person (ie not another Ms Dixon) who's not appeared on Strictly as a pro, I think it's good for the judges to have a bit of distance from the dancers otherwise it gets too lovey-dovey, it's like a player-manager in football.

I wonder if Wayne Sleep might be considered as a judge.


Happy that Ore won, although Danny was my favourite. Louise was just too boring.

Danny's partner Oti was definitely the best professional dancer this year IMO.

cavebat

[Hallucigenia]

Can't see two ballet people being on the panel, they really need a proper ballroom person.