The Lemon Fool

On an upcoming episode of "Millionaire" Sharon from Basildon gets up to £500K and goes for the million.

Jeremy says "Which of the following does not make their own nest? A Sparrow, B Thrush, C Cuckoo and D Pigeon".

Sharon says that she's not sure and Jeremy reminds her that she still has a "Call a friend" lifeline. Sharon decides to call her friend, Marlene from Brentwood.

After reading out the question Marlene says "It's C, cuckoo, definitely, yes it's C".

Sharon gives the answer C and duly wins the million. A couple of days later they're having a celebration in the local hostelry and Sharon asks Marlene how she knew the answer.

"It's easy, a cuckoo lives in a clock".

That joke seems dangerously close to breaking the guidelines. For being Essexist.

Mike4 wrote:That joke seems dangerously close to breaking the guidelines. For being Essexist.

What's an E-sexist? Someone who takes carnal pleasure in online content?

Nothing wrong with Essex, and in particular Brentwood, where I grew up.

C.
OJ: Basildon and Las Vegas, the only two places on Earth where you can pay for sex with chips.

Mike4 wrote:That joke seems dangerously close to breaking the guidelines. For being Essexist.

Remember the old one:

How does Essex girl switch on the light after sex?

- She opens the car door.


Steve

stevensfo wrote:

Mike4 wrote:That joke seems dangerously close to breaking the guidelines. For being Essexist.

Remember the old one:

How does Essex girl switch on the light after sex?

- She opens the car door.


Steve

Ah yes, so you probably know the other one that might get deleted....

What does an Essex girl do with her @rse after having sex?

Yep, she sends him off to the pub.

Mike4 wrote:

stevensfo wrote:
Remember the old one:

How does Essex girl switch on the light after sex?

- She opens the car door.


Steve

Ah yes, so you probably know the other one that might get deleted....

What does an Essex girl do with her @rse after having sex?

Yep, she sends him off to the pub.

I seriously doubt that these famous 'Essex girl' jokes would be deleted.

Meanwhile, remember:

What's a typical Essex Girl's chat-up line?

"Ooooo, do you all play for the rugby club?"

Steve

stevensfo wrote:I seriously doubt that these famous 'Essex girl' jokes would be deleted.

Challenge?

I remembered yours as the punchline to what does the erstwhile young lass say after sex

"Are you all with the same team?"

Like
You can only get one hand up sooty,
So you can tell they're full.
The Duke only had 10,000 men.
The Bermuda Triangle doesn't give you its phone number after swallowing loads of seamen.

What's the difference between a Harlow girl and a shopping trolley? The shopping trolley's got a mind of its own.

BJ

I must complain heartily about the proliforation of Essex folks joke. I'm Romford born and bred. It's deeply discriminatory.

My bird's 12 year old son Trojan, whom I've been teaching to read with the aid of this board, read this thread and was so triggered that he sat in silence for 5 minutes before he ate his lunch of Cheerios and Sunny Delight. Even then he only ate it after his mum threatened to feed it to the XL Bully.

I was so worried about him I accidentally paid my Council Tax while driving home from the boozer.

Later that evening he said to me "don't worry mate, I met some tasty blokes in Feltham, they'll find 'em all and they'll end up over Rettendon Farm."

I was so made up I posted on Facebook 'My bird's saucepan is no wrong 'un, he's gonna be a proper geezer one day, just like all his dads'.

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. 'How many children?'
asks the council worker. '10' replies the Essex girl. '10?' says the council worker.
'What are their names?' 'Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne and Wayne.'.................... 'Doesn't that get confusing?'

'Naah...' says the Essex girl 'its great because if they are out playing in the street
I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW
and they all do it...'

'What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed council worker.

'That's easy,' says the Essex girl... 'I just use their surnames.'

that last one originated in Liverpool - where it belongs!

What's does an Essex girl do when she orgasms?

She drops her bag of chips.

Essex dialects:

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=why+are+jokes+made+about+essex&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8#kpvalbx=_wOcbZv37JYCChbIP8by74AM_2

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