The Lemon Fool

WrenChasen wrote:6. "It was my neighbours that hosted the party." WHO hosted the party...bl@@dy WHO!

I'll raise you "different than", with a side order of "you guys". Particularly when addressed to two or more females. My wife won't stay in a shop if the sales staff come up with that one. What is it about these kids that they can't tell one sex from the other?

Or should that be gender? Just watch me not care.

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:I'll raise you "different than", with a side order of "you guys". Particularly when addressed to two or more females. My wife won't stay in a shop if the sales staff come up with that one. What is it about these kids that they can't tell one sex from the other?

I'll take it higher:-

"Can I get..?"

I'm with your wife, BTW. I wonder how many business owners realise how much "You guys alright there?" affects their sales figures?

So today I want to reach out to you guys, passionately, to share with you the latest eclectic, iconic, existential threat to the legend that is my son, after imbibing a lethal cocktail of social media outrage having gone viral today? Alternately, sorry to disturb you and I will just shut up and go away?

Mr John (that wrote this)

Can I get fries with that ?

AleisterCrowley wrote:Can I get fries with that ?

Today?

"What was your name?"

"My name was, and still IS, ..."

Snorvey wrote:iconic. People telling me something is iconic.

Iconic iconic iconic iconic. I hate the word.

These are iconic: http://www.flaticon.com/

I have a variety of answers for questions that inappropriately end with "today"...

Them: Are you paying by card today?
Me: What day is it?
Them (puzzled): Tuesday? [the question mark is intentional]
Me: Yes, I always pay with a card on Tuesdays; Wednesdays is strictly cash-only.

Them: Is that all for you today?
Me: No, I have plenty of other things to do today.

or

Me: No, I'm going to come back later and do some more shopping.

Aussies don't cope well with sarcasm (or humour in general), so they just look confused and say something similar to, "Oh, okay".

Don't get me started on the inane checkout-talk... "How's your day going"?

I'm not brave enough to reply, "None of your bloody business, just get on with serving me, instead of reading what is written on the card that is stuck to your side of the till". Or, "My whole family died in a car crash this morning, and I'm the only survivor. How's your day going"?

Australian humour is mainly toilet-level, so many Aussies have a lot of trouble understanding that a joke is being made, unless it involves reference to 'personal' anatomy or obscene language. I often have conversations along the lines of...

Me (jovially): [any light-hearted commented.]
Them (confused): Really?
Me (dead-pan): No; I'm joking.

My brother and I believe that our most commonly-used phrase, since we each moved to Australia, is, "No, I'm joking".

One positive effect of the Aussie lack of sense of humour, is that simply making the most childish-pun makes one the most hilarious person in the building.

When watching a film (or 'movie', as they call them over here) at the cinema, a slightly amusing comment made by an actor - the type of humour to which I might respond with an internal 'ha' - results in much of the audience screeching with laughter.

The pay-off is that now, at 6:20 pm, it is 30 degrees C, and the swimming pool in our back garden beckons.

WrenChasen wrote:I'll take it higher:-
"Can I get..?"

Don't go to California then. EVERYONE uses that expression there. For a while it was on my list of local-American colloquialisms. Unfortunately, far too much of the world's film and tv comes from California, so the phrase has now been exported everywhere.

Gryff

gryffron wrote:

WrenChasen wrote:I'll take it higher:-
"Can I get..?"

Don't go to California then. EVERYONE uses that expression there. For a while it was on my list of local-American colloquialisms. Unfortunately, far too much of the world's film and tv comes from California, so the phrase has now been exported everywhere.

To be contrary, one thing I find quite refreshing about Americans is that they feel no need to be as excessively polite as we do.

So whilst an Englishman might say "Excuse me, would you mind terribly passing the salt, if it's not too much trouble?". an American will say "hey, gimme the salt" or "can I get the salt?". Saves a lot of time.

We over-use the word "please" whereas Americans under-use it. In fact the word "please" in America is often used to signify disagreement, and pronounced as if it has two syllables: "pul-eeze".

Lootman wrote:

gryffron wrote:

WrenChasen wrote:I'll take it higher:-
"Can I get..?"

Don't go to California then. EVERYONE uses that expression there. For a while it was on my list of local-American colloquialisms. Unfortunately, far too much of the world's film and tv comes from California, so the phrase has now been exported everywhere.

To be contrary, one thing I find quite refreshing about Americans is that they feel no need to be as excessively polite as we do.

So whilst an Englishman might say "Excuse me, would you mind terribly passing the salt, if it's not too much trouble?". an American will say "hey, gimme the salt" or "can I get the salt?". Saves a lot of time.

We over-use the word "please" whereas Americans under-use it. In fact the word "please" in America is often used to signify disagreement, and pronounced as if it has two syllables: "pul-eeze".

Try Germans

In the UK

Woman : "Does my bum look big in this"
Man (who wants to live) "Well, perhaps it's not the most flatttering of garments"

In Germany

Man "You look like [expletive deleted]"

Lootman wrote: an American will say "can I get the salt?". Saves a lot of time.

To which my answer would be "Yes." and then not do anyting.


Slarti

In Spain, "Dos cervezas" will make you seem far more authentic than "Dos cervezas, por favor". And you'll get your beer quicker too.

Scott.

I hate, with a passion, the 'give it up for' when a presenter on TV is asking for applause. They are all at it.

Where on earth did it come from?

orchard101 wrote:I hate, with a passion, the 'give it up for' when a presenter on TV is asking for applause. They are all at it.

Where on earth did it come from?

http://english.stackexchange.com/questi ... r-applause suggests it came from the 1990s!

My own recent dislike is, on answering a recent [not] marketing call***, "Hello, I'm looking for [my name]". I asked him where he was looking. The good thing about these opening lines is one knows one can ignore such a person.

*** Yes, I know about call blockers etc.

sg31 wrote:People adding 'at all' to the end of questions drives me mad.

Are you having a go at the Oirish at all, at all?

Seamus O'Murphy

orchard101 wrote:I hate, with a passion, the 'give it up for' when a presenter on TV is asking for applause. They are all at it.

Well, I suppose it beats what the compere at our local folk 'n blues club in deepest Wurzelshire (the late Fred Wedlock) used to say after a performance:

"Come on, give 'im the clap he deserves."

BJ

orchard101 wrote:I hate, with a passion, the 'give it up for' when a presenter on TV is asking for applause. They are all at it.

Where on earth did it come from?

And I similarly hate the boxing equivalent: "Make some noise for . . ."

Watis

Why has "yourself" not been brought up?

"Can I get a coffee for yourself?"
"Was the meal OK for yourselves?"

Really gets on myself's nerves that one

bucklb wrote:Why has "yourself" not been brought up?

"Can I get a coffee for yourself?"
"Was the meal OK for yourselves?"

Really gets on myself's nerves that one

Don't think I've encountered that one myself. Something to do with the company yourself keeps?