At last, a solution to the illegal Channel crossings ...

[Clitheroekid]

... surely inspired by The Donald, and so obvious that one's first reaction must be "Why didn't I think of that?"

https://www.gofundme.com/f/english-chan ... WUqEzFmY3s

So come on you patriots, get clicking on the `Donate now' button!

[88V8]

Bostik.
Traditional.
Good.

V8

[didds]

It has to be a spoof? :-0

Part of me hopes it isnt and that he'll get his 10K funding and then we can all watch the next phase of implementation!

didds

[Mike4]

I can see a flaw in that plan to build a wall. Obvious from the drawing. The Channel Tunnel. Won't the migrants just come through the tunnel instead? I suppose the tickets are quite expensive though.

Oh and another problem. It will have to have holes to let the cross channel ferries through....

[servodude]

Oh and another problem. It will have to have holes to let the cross channel ferries through....

They covered that... there's to be a guy like a bouncer unclipping it!

I just wish they'd suggested that they were "going to convene outside Brixton Town Hall" (1)

He's also going to donate the cash to a kids charity.. it's worth a read of the contributors

-sd

1: "Waiting for the worms" just after Pink has built his wall.. you know the anti-fascist stuff that was satirical at the time

[Mike88]

That suggestion is nearly as daft as populating the channel with sharks.

[mc2fool]

It has to be a spoof? :-0

Part of me hopes it isnt and that he'll get his 10K funding and then we can all watch the next phase of implementation!

A spoof? Yeah, but gofundme.com is a genuine site and, at time of writing, 209 "people" have really used their credit cards to donate a total of £1,868 to "Simon Harris", so it's a pretty profitable spoof!

Of course, all those 209 could be "Simon Harris" donating to himself, and beyond the main joke itself I think some of the donors are pretty witty.

Border McBorderFace is kinda obvious, but Marine Playpen, Nick Farrighti and Stephen Waxy Lemon Gammonson are nice plays.

One wonders (but doubts!) if any of Mark Francoise, Julia Hartley-Brewer, Nigel Farage, Priti Patel, Alistair Campbell and Rachel Riley are real. Definitely not Charles De Gaulle!

But I am especially pleased to see that the BarnyardCastle EyeTestCentre has donated.

[DrFfybes]

I think the bit at the bottom is the real reason for the page..

LEGAL NOTE: In the event that this project runs into difficulties during the research and development stage, funds will be donated to a local project providing hot meals and activities to children from vulnerable families during the Summer Holidays in Essex. This is being organised by the guys at The Prince Of Wales pub in Stow Maries, and local volunteers are even providing transport for children to and from the site to ensure that nobody in the area goes hungry.

The rest is amusing wndow dressing.

Paul

[mc2fool]

I think the bit at the bottom is the real reason for the page

Aha! You have to click "Read more" twice!

[zico]

I can see a flaw in that plan to build a wall. Obvious from the drawing. The Channel Tunnel. Won't the migrants just come through the tunnel instead? I suppose the tickets are quite expensive though.

Oh and another problem. It will have to have holes to let the cross channel ferries through....

Obviously you just need another wall in the middle of the Channel Tunnel!
The other problem is more serious, because the holes would have to be exactly the right size for ferries to fit through, otherwise a rubber dinghy or two could get in at the same time as the ferry.

[jfgw]

LEGAL NOTE: In the event that this project runs into difficulties during the research and development stage...

I thought that the research and development work was done in the second world war in preparation for the D-day landings. As the organiser is from Southend-on-Sea, he will be familiar with Mulberry harbour caissons as there is a broken one clearly visible from there, https://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/2626129

This is being organised by the guys at The Prince Of Wales pub in Stow Maries

I haven't been to the Prince of Wales since the lockdown. It's an excellent pub with six real ales and good food, and log fires when it's cold. Highly recommended.


Julian F. G. W.

[brightncheerful]

I think you'll find the illegals have come up with a solution of their own.

Migrants crossing the English Channel warn they will jump overboard and attempt to drown if their boats are stopped.

[swill453]

I think you'll find the illegals have come up with a solution of their own.

Migrants crossing the English Channel warn they will jump overboard and attempt to drown if their boats are stopped.

What, all of them have warned this? To whom and when?

Scott.

[ursaminortaur]

I think you'll find the illegals have come up with a solution of their own.

Migrants crossing the English Channel warn they will jump overboard and attempt to drown if their boats are stopped.

What, all of them have warned this? To whom and when?

Scott.

I'm not sure who made the statement but the tactic is valid as the laws of the sea mean that any ship's master in the vicinity has a legal obligation to rescue them and if they are within the UK's search and rescue area
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/593127/mca_uksar.pdf#%5B%7B%22num%22%3A58%2C%22gen%22%3A0%7D%2C%7B%22name%22%3A%22XYZ%22%7D%2C48%2C768%2C0%5D

they become the UK's responsibility.

https://www.unhcr.org/450037d34.pdf


RESCUE AT SEA. A GUIDE TO PRINCIPLES AND PRACTICE AS APPLIED TO REFUGEES AND MIGRANTS
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The Master has an obligation to render assistance to those in distress at sea without regard to their nationality, status or the circumstances in which they are found. This is a longstanding maritime tradition as well as an obligation enshrined in international law.
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As recognized in the Guidelines on the Treatment of Persons Rescued at Sea, the Government responsible for the SAR region in which the rescued persons were recovered is primarily responsible for providing a place of safety or ensuring that such a place of safety is provided.