Careers advice.

[Mike4]

Fascinating.

It says I should be a TV or film production assistant or manager, or a computer games tester.

Or in the second tranche of options it suggests I join the building trade and become a demolition operative!

[Lootman]

"Because of your answers, we could not recommend any job categories."

Ha, seems like it might be quite accurate

[AleisterCrowley]

Toilet attendant or investment banker.

[vrdiver]

Toilet attendant or investment banker.

There are a few banks that seem to have specialized in flushing (my) money down the loo. Perhaps it was thinking about a job at Lloyds or RBS

[vrdiver]

Chef or funeral director.

I didn't think my cooking was that bad...

[Lootman]

Toilet attendant or investment banker.

Chef or funeral director.

I am distressed that all you guys are getting interesting job suggestions and it could not find a single one for me.

Now, I was brutally honest in my answers, saying things that I would never say in a job interview (something I have not attended in 25 years, probably just as well). So for instance I honestly answered that I don't always like to see a job through to the end (I get bored easily). I don't like taking directions from others. And I do not like to be constrained by facts or details.

Those three answers alone would have stressed this app to come up with anything for me. I suspect some kind of criminal behaviour might be optimal for someone who is basically smart, lazy and insubordinate, but that was probably programmed out of the app.

Guess I will just have to carry on being retired then.

[swill453]

And I do not like to be constrained by facts

Surprised it didn't offer the US presidency.

Ah, I guess you fail the nationality test.

Scott.

[Lootman]

And I do not like to be constrained by facts

Surprised it didn't offer the US presidency.

At first I thought the question about "facts" was almost a trick question. If you do not claim a close affinity with the truth then doesn't that render you borderline unemployable?

But you have a point - a career in politics requires only the loosest association with facts. Likewise a career in advertising, marketing or public relations, where it is the desired image of the enterprise that takes precedence over reality. And again, it might help for a writer of fiction or fantasy, which opens up the possibility of a job as a journalist with The Guardian

[SalvorHardin]

But you have a point - a career in politics requires only the loosest association with facts. Likewise a career in advertising, marketing or public relations, where it is the desired image of the enterprise that takes precedence over reality. And again, it might help for a writer of fiction or fantasy, which opens up the possibility of a job as a journalist with The Guardian

Unfortunately to be a journalist on The Guardian seems to require several other factors, with John Harris arguably being the sole exception. Many got the job through Mummy and Daddy's connections, lack basic scientific knowledge, have a high level of innumeracy and are generally clueless about business and economics. Qualities which I suspect that few, if any, of us on TLF have.

It also helps to be an Arts or Humanities graduate. I could fake that as I have a useless degree (English and History), can talk about Shakespeare ad nauseum and would keep quiet about the physics degree at the interview.

The Careers test came up with "IT Security Consultant" for me. That sounds much more exciting than Actuary (Retired). Too exciting methinks

In case anyone's interested here's a link to John Harris' articles. IMHO he's the best journalist on The Guardian by a long way (he's also one of the few they've got who understands Britain's working class).

https://www.theguardian.com/profile/johnharris

[XFool]

Now, I was brutally honest in my answers, saying things that I would never say in a job interview...

And I do not like to be constrained by facts or details.

I knew that.

[UncleEbenezer]

[I don't always like to see a job through to the end (I get bored easily). I don't like taking directions from others. And I do not like to be constrained by facts or details.

You don't need to look for a job. Just cosy up to our government and you could be a shoe-in to take charge of some big programme.

[Lootman]

Now, I was brutally honest in my answers, saying things that I would never say in a job interview...

And I do not like to be constrained by facts or details.

I knew that.

There are more routes to success, wisdom and enlightenment than the mindless soaking up of facts, which is sadly what our educational system has an undue focus on.

One of the things I noticed back in the 1970s when I starting spending a lot of time overseas was that if there was a Brit in a group of people, he invariably set himself up as the self-styled "expert" in the room. He or she (but almost always he) would give this away by peppering his statements with things like "Interestingly" (a sure sign that the next thing he was going to say was not remotely interesting). Or the evergreen "not many people know this but . . ". Think Cliff Claven if you are familiar with the sitcom Cheers.

I could never decide whether it was the bias in our educational system or some kind of post-imperial condescension towards foreigners. Either way I quickly unlearned that trait and it has not done me a lot of harm. Mere facts, without understanding and perspective, mostly just get in the way.

I don't always like to see a job through to the end (I get bored easily). I don't like taking directions from others. And I do not like to be constrained by facts or details.

You don't need to look for a job. Just cosy up to our government and you could be a shoe-in to take charge of some big programme.

I could never work in the public sector. But you are right that, back in my working days, my specialty was to work on, say, feasibility studies, and maybe some high level analysis. And then pass the project onto a "details person" for the messy job of implementing it. Half the time the project would get cancelled of course, but I got paid either way. Whatever you do, don't get stuck supporting production systems.

[XFool]

I could never work in the public sector. But you are right that, back in my working days, my specialty was to work on, say, feasibility studies, and maybe some high level analysis. And then pass the project onto a "details person" for the messy job of implementing it. Half the time the project would get cancelled of course, but I got paid either way. Whatever you do, don't get stuck supporting production systems.

Another sterling example of superior private sector "efficiency"?

[Lootman]

I could never work in the public sector. But you are right that, back in my working days, my specialty was to work on, say, feasibility studies, and maybe some high level analysis. And then pass the project onto a "details person" for the messy job of implementing it. Half the time the project would get cancelled of course, but I got paid either way. Whatever you do, don't get stuck supporting production systems.

Another sterling example of superior private sector "efficiency"?

I do not recall claiming that the private sector is more efficient.

[Mike4]

I too answered brutally honestly, responding accurately to questions in a way I never would in a face-to-face interview.

The questions just kept on coming, so many I've forgotten most. Must have been 150 at least. Took about 20 mins to get to the end. At several points I nearly shut the window but the more I answered, the more committed I became to getting some answers after so much effort!

[brightncheerful]

Engineering and maintenance - nah, don't fancy that

Alternatively, a gamekeeper.

Except it would clash with my being a vegetarian.

[Watis]

Engineering and maintenance - nah, don't fancy that

Alternatively, a gamekeeper.

Except it would clash with my being a vegetarian.

You don't have to eat what you kill, surely?

Watis

[XFool]

I could never work in the public sector. But you are right that, back in my working days, my specialty was to work on, say, feasibility studies, and maybe some high level analysis. And then pass the project onto a "details person" for the messy job of implementing it. Half the time the project would get cancelled of course, but I got paid either way. Whatever you do, don't get stuck supporting production systems.

Another sterling example of superior private sector "efficiency"?

I do not recall claiming that the private sector is more efficient.

No? But you will...

[XFool]

Engineering and maintenance - nah, don't fancy that

Alternatively, a gamekeeper.

Except it would clash with my being a vegetarian.

You don't have to eat what you kill, surely?

Indeed. He wasn't recommended for a job in a wall street law firm...

[bungeejumper]

Alternatively, a gamekeeper.

Except it would clash with my being a vegetarian.

You don't have to eat what you kill, surely?

Nope, but it can't feel very good having to get the poor condemned creatures ready for the firing squad.

Not that very much of the kill ever gets eaten anyway? By the time you've filled half a million grouse with lead shot (or tungsten, or bismuth), their tooth-cracking textural qualities must make them pretty unreliable.

But hey, there I go again, wildly off topic.

BJ