Parties

[Leothebear]

OK so who has been to a party they've really enjoyed? Been to a few myself and all I can recall is the embarrassment of asking people, usually women , to repeat themselves because of the vile cacophony violating my ear drums.

So in the true spirit of Christmas, I have to say: I hate parties.

[didds]

Hmmm.

Id say there are parties, soirees, get togethers and groups.

99% of shindigs fit the last three. Enjioyable (mostly!) , occassionally boring as all hell.

But ... parties...

Its a philosophical distinction. Etheral almost. And some gatherings that are expected to be parties turn out to be only a group. Whilst sometimes some get togethers turn into a party.

Two oustanding parties spring to mind for me. Brilliant.

One in Italy, the other in Munich.

Both times I was visiting a friend and they had invites, so I went along. Both times it had all the hallmarks of being "oh well, i dont know anybody else, but Im here" ... and ended up being inspired, brilliant evenings. The Munich party I knew one person there. The Italy one I knew one person, and a handful of his colleagues were also Brits.


But the host of each event did a brilliant job of breaking down the boundaries. I spoke Italian i didnt know I knew (which in retrospect must have been O-level french and south american backpacking spanish spoken in an italian accent, spoken to some very very kind and equally drunk Italian chaps), I was almost fluent in German with a stunning bavarian girl... and i can vividly recall lots of moments from both of them. Other "parties" I must have been to in my life I recall nothing of. Nada. Riens. Nichts.

I also got offered a job as a bouncer after the Italian party but that's another story for another day...

[todthedog]

Oh Leo!
I really love a good conversation, like meeting people, but hate parties.
'you'll always find him in the kitchen at parties'
Loathe the noise. Fixed grin and nodding while hearing very little.

[redsturgeon]

Parties are for young people. I used to love parties, now I hate them.

I guess since I stopped drinking alcohol and became vegan then the only reason left for being at most parties is the people interaction. Now that I find it incredibly difficult to hear what people are saying if there is music playing in the background then that no fun either.

I guess I have just become a miserable old git.

John

[Dod101]

Parties are for young people. I used to love parties, now I hate them.

I guess since I stopped drinking alcohol and became vegan then the only reason left for being at most parties is the people interaction. Now that I find it incredibly difficult to hear what people are saying if there is music playing in the background then that no fun either.

I guess I have just become a miserable old git.

John

O dear! No alcohol and vegan. Says it all really.

Dod

[redsturgeon]

Parties are for young people. I used to love parties, now I hate them.

I guess since I stopped drinking alcohol and became vegan then the only reason left for being at most parties is the people interaction. Now that I find it incredibly difficult to hear what people are saying if there is music playing in the background then that no fun either.

I guess I have just become a miserable old git.

John

O dear! No alcohol and vegan. Says it all really.

Dod

Yes, it seems that even if I do not live any longer as a result, it will feel like it.

John

[bungeejumper]

I guess since I stopped drinking alcohol and became vegan then the only reason left for being at most parties is the people interaction. Now that I find it incredibly difficult to hear what people are saying if there is music playing in the background then that no fun either.

Oh dear, oh dear, the social deafness gets to most of us in the end. And have you noticed how much noisier all those stripped-pine cafes and pizzerias have become? Something should be done about it

Agreed, though, the alcohol is an important element of an enjoyable party. It's bad enough being the designated driver at the pub with the neighbours - but there's a definite cost to being the only person at a party who's sober enough to realise what a load of c0ck everyone else is talking. Not to mention a sense that they're all secretly cursing the fact that you'll probably remember it all in the morning.

Sometimes with good reason. At one party, attended by most of our near neighbours, a woman we know pretty well had an argument with her husband, who promptly went home. Whereupon she got quite amazingly drunk and ended up propositioning nearly every man in the room. [Err, without result, I should hastily add.] I am pretty sure that she will have had no recollection of the event by the time she woke up the next morning/afternoon, but I daresay most of the men will have stored it away forever in their memories. And so will their wives. I really hope she never finds out?

BJ

[didds]

Oh Leo!
I really love a good conversation, like meeting people, but hate parties.
'you'll always find him in the kitchen at parties'
Loathe the noise. Fixed grin and nodding while hearing very little.

Yeah - we've all been there (well... "all" ...)

And then in latter years you lose the hearing in one ear and any ambient noise makes interaction all but impossible and you glaze over and fade out...

didds

[redsturgeon]

The alcohol, social lubricant thing is important, possibly more important than I have given credit too since July when I gave up the stuff. I suppose there have been few opportunities for drunken social gatherings since then, so I have not noticed.

I have often thought, looking back over my life that many of my most fun moments have been when I have been under the influence and I have not been sure how I feel about that. Does it mean that I am somehow deficient that I need a few drinks to enjoy myself? Does it mean that I am an alcoholic? I always thought I could not be since I never drank alone but then I realised that I drank a lot in the company of people who certainly were alcoholics, one now a signed up AA member and two now dead in their 50s of alcohol related conditions. (clue: always be worried if a friend offers you alcohol with breakfast)

Then I noticed that as a family in lockdown we were drinking every night at home, more than one or two drinks. It particularly concerned me that my 23 year old daughter was drinking just as much as me without noticeable effects...this was not good.

I suggested a dry July and to my surprise the whole family immediately agreed, it was almost as if we all realised we needed a break and were waiting for someone to suggest it.

My daughter and I have stuck to the regime and actually found it quite easy, older son and Mrs RS have started imbibing again but at a much lower level and just at weekends. I thin my daughter and I will drink some alcohol over Xmas and see how that feels. We may even have a little party, just the five of us that is...

John

[Arborbridge]

I don't do "parties" any more, but I've been to the grown up equivalent: patron events or "soirees" at various places.
It's fun to meet different people, or familiar faces but it's difficult for me to hear what the heck people are talking about, so I can't have a proper conversation and just hope I say yes or no in the right place. If I ask a question, I usually don't understand the answer. Even if I put my hearing aid in, it just everything louder rather than clearer. The background ambient noise is the real killer.
And as to meeting the younger members of the family: they all seem to mutter, these days. Hearing becoming distorted or less acute is a real bind.

Arb.

[Arborbridge]

And then in latter years you lose the hearing in one ear and any ambient noise makes interaction all but impossible and you glaze over and fade out...

didds

That reminds me of the Joan Rivers remark I hear the other night, when she was quite elderly: " I always fake my orgasms, but the trouble with these old guys is that you have make sure you fake it in the right ear".

Arb.

[BellaHubby]

I hate parties....... Tories, Labour, SNP, Plaid Cymru, Monster Raving Looney.....

[Dod101]

The alcohol, social lubricant thing is important, possibly more important than I have given credit too since July when I gave up the stuff. I suppose there have been few opportunities for drunken social gatherings since then, so I have not noticed.

I have often thought, looking back over my life that many of my most fun moments have been when I have been under the influence and I have not been sure how I feel about that. Does it mean that I am somehow deficient that I need a few drinks to enjoy myself? Does it mean that I am an alcoholic? I always thought I could not be since I never drank alone but then I realised that I drank a lot in the company of people who certainly were alcoholics, one now a signed up AA member and two now dead in their 50s of alcohol related conditions. (clue: always be worried if a friend offers you alcohol with breakfast)

Then I noticed that as a family in lockdown we were drinking every night at home, more than one or two drinks. It particularly concerned me that my 23 year old daughter was drinking just as much as me without noticeable effects...this was not good.

I suggested a dry July and to my surprise the whole family immediately agreed, it was almost as if we all realised we needed a break and were waiting for someone to suggest it.

My daughter and I have stuck to the regime and actually found it quite easy, older son and Mrs RS have started imbibing again but at a much lower level and just at weekends. I thin my daughter and I will drink some alcohol over Xmas and see how that feels. We may even have a little party, just the five of us that is...

John

Actually I think you may be on to something because it is only too easy to slip from a couple of drinks to..........well more than a couple. But it seems a shame to ban it altogether. I have been to a fair few great parties over the years but not for a long time. The best get togethers I have been to in recent years, have been on long summer evenings mostly with neighbours over a few glasses of wine, and no music!

Pre Covid I may say.

Dod

[bungeejumper]

Then I noticed that as a family in lockdown we were drinking every night at home, more than one or two drinks. It particularly concerned me that my 23 year old daughter was drinking just as much as me without noticeable effects...this was not good.

. . . . . . . . .

My daughter and I have stuck to the regime and actually found it quite easy, older son and Mrs RS have started imbibing again but at a much lower level and just at weekends. I thin my daughter and I will drink some alcohol over Xmas and see how that feels. We may even have a little party, just the five of us that is...

Excellent points all round. Maybe we should start a thread on the Drinks forum (or Wellbeing)? I've finally found a couple of alcohol-free wines which hit "enough" of the right spots, and these days I start the evening with a single glass of normal cotes du rhone before transitioning to the sin-free stuff.

I don't know whether that would work at a party, though? Bringing a bottle of pretend wine would be like taking foil-wrapped nut cutlets to a barbecue.

BJ

[didds]

Even if I put my hearing aid in, it just everything louder rather than clearer.

Arb.

This.

My audiologists dont understand this.

I've tried a private hearing aid (trialled it) in case it was the "build quality" - no change.

I find it easier in places with ambient background noise to actually not wear the aid at all. The only time the aid is useful ie doesnt exascerbate background noise, is eg at home with just one or two people in an otherwise quiet room. When I don't need it anyway.

didds

[tjh290633]

The ones that I enjoy most are those attended by my old, now widowed, girlfriends. They are much more appreciative.

TJH

[stevensfo]

OK so who has been to a party they've really enjoyed? Been to a few myself and all I can recall is the embarrassment of asking people, usually women , to repeat themselves because of the vile cacophony violating my ear drums.

So in the true spirit of Christmas, I have to say: I hate parties.

I had a few great parties in my twenties and early thirties, but then realised that having a group over for a barbecue or dinner was much more enjoyable. Yes, I never understood why a party was not considered successful if you didn't leave with perforated eardrums. I became quite good at lip-reading and being quite an introvert, always found it uncomfortable mingling with people I didn't know. Alcohol helped though, maybe too much. I think that I became best friends with complete strangers and agreements for further meets were planned, but it all evaporated in the morning.

What did Confucius say? "If you wake up with pain in head, bottle in hand and carpet in mouth, you know was bloody good party!"


Steve

[Dod101]

Even if I put my hearing aid in, it just everything louder rather than clearer.

Arb.

This.

My audiologists dont understand this.

I've tried a private hearing aid (trialled it) in case it was the "build quality" - no change.

I find it easier in places with ambient background noise to actually not wear the aid at all. The only time the aid is useful ie doesnt exascerbate background noise, is eg at home with just one or two people in an otherwise quiet room. When I don't need it anyway.

didds

Going off topic but I find my very expensive Phonak ones are good in noisy surroundings, up to a point anyway, but you need to keep them clean and wax free (the hearing aids that is) If I wear them outside and car passes by it sounds like a tractor on steroids though.

Dod

[Rhyd6]

The Friday evening get togethers we had during the summer were great. The only music was provided by acoustic guitar so we could still hear one another talk. If it was raining we adjourned to the barn other wise we sat outside. It did help that my youngest grandson kindly drove everyone almost home in the trailer pulled by quad bike (he's not old enough to go on the road yet though he's been driving for years). As one friend remarked 'if only all pubs were like this, no loud music, cheap beer and no screaming kids'.

R6

[didds]

As one friend remarked 'if only all pubs were like this, no loud music, cheap beer and no screaming kids'.

R6

Im obviously very lucky -0 that would fiot the bill of all five of my preferred pubs in my local town

"Cheap beer" is obviously a subjective term , but two of those five would be counted as cheap compared to anything except 'Spoons (which is true across the board Id imagine), two is typical/average, and the other two inlude a range of pricing friom average to "expensive" but is reflected against the style/amount of esoteric hops, and ABVs encountered.

didds