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Idiot

A virtual pub for off topic, light hearted pub related banter and discussion. No trainers
kiloran
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Idiot

#412145

Postby kiloran » May 15th, 2021, 1:22 pm

Waiting for my wife while she got jabbed, I was browsing for a new mower on my mobile. Found a web page, decided it would be better in landscape, so turned the phone and the screen went completely dark. Back to portrait and it was OK. Landscape again... dark. So back to portrait and decided to look for an obscure display setting. Maybe the latest Android update had a fancy new feature.

After a couple of minutes fiddling, I solved the problem.... I took off my polaroid sunglasses.

I'm definitely going ga-ga. Can I be trusted with a petrol-driven mower, or should I employ a gardener?

--kiloran

UncleEbenezer
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Re: Idiot

#412152

Postby UncleEbenezer » May 15th, 2021, 1:45 pm

If you want a powered mower, any reason not to get a robotic one?

They've been the norm in some countries for years (Sweden's where I first saw them) and they do a great job.

btw, my gardener at my previous place had a genuine oldfashioned scythe for cutting grass. The grass itself was too uneven (lumpy) for a mower.

richlist
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Re: Idiot

#412156

Postby richlist » May 15th, 2021, 1:58 pm

When I looked into the possibility of getting a robotic mower I found that they can be extremely labour intensive to set up if your garden has any curved borders, flower beds and landscaping. They seem ideal if you have a square of rectangular lawn.

UncleEbenezer
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Re: Idiot

#412173

Postby UncleEbenezer » May 15th, 2021, 2:39 pm

richlist wrote:When I looked into the possibility of getting a robotic mower I found that they can be extremely labour intensive to set up if your garden has any curved borders, flower beds and landscaping. They seem ideal if you have a square of rectangular lawn.


The ones I saw in Sweden were doing all kinds of lawn. Including rather steep grass slopes down to the pavement I was walking along - not having the fences or the distinction between private garden and public verge we'd see in Blighty. I don't know how much effort they put into programming those, but they were doing a great job.

Howard
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Re: Idiot

#412180

Postby Howard » May 15th, 2021, 2:56 pm

Depends what kind of lawn you have. Robotic mowers that I have seen working don't give a terribly good finish and they don't do edges very well. Those of us who like stripes wouldn't be happy with them.

I understand some see it just as a chore but mowing the grass is pretty good exercise and it's cheaper than going to the gym. It can be very pleasant if one enjoys the finished effect.

regards

Howard

PS The stripes look even better viewed through Polaroid sunglasses. :)

UncleEbenezer
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Re: Idiot

#412183

Postby UncleEbenezer » May 15th, 2021, 3:04 pm

Howard wrote:I understand some see it just as a chore but mowing the grass is pretty good exercise and it's cheaper than going to the gym. It can be very pleasant if one enjoys the finished effect.

The OP said petrol. I infer he's not in it for the exercise.

Now a purely mechanical mower with a big heavy roller would be another story. For those with a proper lawn!

Howard
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Re: Idiot

#412192

Postby Howard » May 15th, 2021, 3:47 pm

UncleEbenezer wrote:
Howard wrote:I understand some see it just as a chore but mowing the grass is pretty good exercise and it's cheaper than going to the gym. It can be very pleasant if one enjoys the finished effect.

The OP said petrol. I infer he's not in it for the exercise.

Now a purely mechanical mower with a big heavy roller would be another story. For those with a proper lawn!


My Honda powered petrol mower with roller gives plenty of exercise. Especially turning on the sloping bits!

regards

Howard

bungeejumper
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Re: Idiot

#412197

Postby bungeejumper » May 15th, 2021, 4:17 pm

I've recently posted on the DIY forum about how I replaced the brass garden tap on the hosepipe that carries the water from my rain barrels out to a more convenient place beside the garden path. For reasons of brevity, I didn't say why I did it, or how. But kiloran has emboldened me to confess my folly in full.

The hosepipe had become blocked - I didn't know where, but what little water I could get from it smelt almost as bad as it tasted. No matter, I thought, I'll soon get it moving. It's probably just an airlock, and the algae have built up a little bit in there. All I have to do is suck briefly on the tap, and it'll be right as rain.

I sucked briefly, and then a bit harder, and then so hard that my mouth turned downright skeletal. But nothing came through the pipe. Maybe I should try blowing the tap instead? That ought to shift it. But that didn't work either. A further determined attempt at sucking the pipe also failed. So there was nothing for it but to unscrew the tap and strip it down.

It was then that I discovered the four dead worms that had swum down the hosepipe and were now firmly blocking the inside of the tap. Festering, stinking, and a well-primed booby trap for any idiot who thought he could siphon-suck his way out of trouble. It took a very large medicinal whisky to disinfect my mouth, and to make the memory go away. It still hasn't quite gone. :|

BJ

88V8
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Re: Idiot

#412211

Postby 88V8 » May 15th, 2021, 5:05 pm

We still have our petrol/push Mountfield bought new in 1984.
Years ago the alloy deck corroded through at the top so I patched it with the lid of an egg poacher. Now I see that has corroded through.
Never mind. Another patch can be affixed.

The mower has variable speed and no idiot handle. I shall keep it as long as we have grass to cut and I have the strength to start it.

Sun glasses... used to work for me. Now even good Polaroids just make things darker, but no help with the glare. Last time I tried wearing them I could scarcely walk along the pavement without bumping into things. Is it me....

bungeejumper wrote:.... any idiot who thought he could siphon-suck his way out of trouble.....

Urrrgh.

I once filled the tank of our 205 with diesel, and had to siphon it out, all ten gallons, with a tube and a suck. Yukk.

V8

kiloran
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Re: Idiot

#412217

Postby kiloran » May 15th, 2021, 5:17 pm

88V8 wrote:We still have our petrol/push Mountfield bought new in 1984.
Years ago the alloy deck corroded through at the top so I patched it with the lid of an egg poacher. Now I see that has corroded through.
Never mind. Another patch can be affixed.

The mower has variable speed and no idiot handle. I shall keep it as long as we have grass to cut and I have the strength to start it.

V8

My Mountfield has reached the tender age of 30, but it's been patched and fixed and abused so often that I've decided it's time to replace it. Probably a small Hayter this time, manual push again, not self-propelled.

--kiloran

GoSeigen
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Re: Idiot

#412262

Postby GoSeigen » May 15th, 2021, 7:57 pm

kiloran wrote:After a couple of minutes fiddling, I solved the problem.... I took off my polaroid sunglasses.


Are they perhaps polarising lenses, or do they actually take instant photographs? In which case I want a pair!

GS

kiloran
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Re: Idiot

#412285

Postby kiloran » May 15th, 2021, 9:14 pm

GoSeigen wrote:
kiloran wrote:After a couple of minutes fiddling, I solved the problem.... I took off my polaroid sunglasses.


Are they perhaps polarising lenses, or do they actually take instant photographs? In which case I want a pair!

GS

Neither, they just turn the wearer into an idiot :lol:

--kiloran

UncleEbenezer
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Re: Idiot

#412289

Postby UncleEbenezer » May 15th, 2021, 9:23 pm

kiloran wrote:Neither, they just turn the wearer into an idiot :lol:

--kiloran

But .. but ...

Surely totally polarised views of the world are just what you need for online discussions? 8-)

I'll get me coat (it's the one in the shape of a Klein bottle).

88V8
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Re: Idiot

#412316

Postby 88V8 » May 15th, 2021, 10:33 pm

kiloran wrote:.... I've decided it's time to replace it. Probably a small Hayter this time, manual push again, not self-propelled.

The idiot handle that Nanny mandates on new mowers.. you know it's just an earthing switch, and can be replaced with ... a switch.
I did that with a Hayter I bought as a stand-in for the 6 months during which we involuntarily had two houses. Blowed if I'm going to have the mower turning itself off every time I need a hand to lift a plant out of the way.

V8

kiloran
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Re: Idiot

#412330

Postby kiloran » May 15th, 2021, 11:31 pm

88V8 wrote:
kiloran wrote:.... I've decided it's time to replace it. Probably a small Hayter this time, manual push again, not self-propelled.

The idiot handle that Nanny mandates on new mowers.. you know it's just an earthing switch, and can be replaced with ... a switch.
I did that with a Hayter I bought as a stand-in for the 6 months during which we involuntarily had two houses. Blowed if I'm going to have the mower turning itself off every time I need a hand to lift a plant out of the way.

V8

Yes, I do have some trepidation about this "feature", and "measures" may have to be taken.

--kiloran

nimnarb
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Re: Idiot

#412338

Postby nimnarb » May 16th, 2021, 1:21 am

That’s exactly what happened to me once when my computer went black!! I thought I’ve done it now, then realized I had my sunglasses on. Idiotx2

But it took me about 10 mins to find the cause!!

gadjet
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Re: Idiot

#412467

Postby gadjet » May 16th, 2021, 2:33 pm

I was in Sainsburys last week and wondered why I counldn't read the labels on the shelves. It was better when I took my sunglasses off !

Sue


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