Amazon: My Public Shame

[bungeejumper]

I've just had one of my product reviews rejected by Amazon, on the grounds that it contained "inappropriate content" that contravened the Community Guidelines. A shock, certainly, and unquestionably a personal setback. But I shall struggle with the bitter reality of my public shame, and I shall endeavour forthwith to become a better person.

My review was for a box of Vitamin D3 supplements. I gave it five stars, and all I said was "All good, thanks". (I couldn't honestly think of anything else to say about a box of vit pills that arrived on time and didn't cost too much. But there was no point in denying it, I'd contravened the requirement that my review should focus on the product, the seller and my shipment experience.

Whereas if I'd said "One star. I really hate pills that come in yellow packaging, and the delivery driver was wearing a horrible shirt, and I shall never buy anything again from a seller whose name starts with T", that would presumably have passed the test with flying colours?

BJ

[pje16]

post "All good, Thanks"
Mods, please don't ban me

[stevensfo]

I've just had one of my product reviews rejected by Amazon, on the grounds that it contained "inappropriate content" that contravened the Community Guidelines. A shock, certainly, and unquestionably a personal setback. But I shall struggle with the bitter reality of my public shame, and I shall endeavour forthwith to become a better person.

My review was for a box of Vitamin D3 supplements. I gave it five stars, and all I said was "All good, thanks". (I couldn't honestly think of anything else to say about a box of vit pills that arrived on time and didn't cost too much. But there was no point in denying it, I'd contravened the requirement that my review should focus on the product, the seller and my shipment experience.

Whereas if I'd said "One star. I really hate pills that come in yellow packaging, and the delivery driver was wearing a horrible shirt, and I shall never buy anything again from a seller whose name starts with T", that would presumably have passed the test with flying colours?

BJ

I use Amazon a lot so very rarely bother to write a review these days, unless it's something that's really impressed me. I've been meaning for ages to write a review about a spare electric razor that I bought to keep in the car. The razor was about 20 pounds, so less than a replacement foil for my Braun razor, but is actually just as good!
You were probably the victim of one of these A.I. programs that just identified your review as too short. Facebook has similar things running in the background.
Just remember to keep the reviews nice and long, divided into paragraphs, a good title, a happy ending and the opening words, 'It was a dark and stormy night...'. Using Jane Eyre's last words, 'Reader, I married him' is entirely optional.

Steve

[servodude]

The razor was about 20 pounds, so less than a replacement foil for my Braun razor, but is actually just as good!

Pray, tell us more about this fantastical device...

[Lanark]

I used to write detailed reviews for Amazon, but then I realised how much bad faith there is in the reviews system - they would take good reviews and move them onto completely different products, so I gave up and deleted everything.

None of the online reviews can be trusted, trustpilot, yelp, tripadvisor, none of them are worth looking at any more.

[stevensfo]

The razor was about 20 pounds, so less than a replacement foil for my Braun razor, but is actually just as good!

Pray, tell us more about this fantastical device...

Just go to Amazon and search for 'Maybuy electric razor'. Currently £19.99 and just as good as my Braun series 3.


Steve

[Redmires]

I used to write detailed reviews for Amazon, but then I realised how much bad faith there is in the reviews system - they would take good reviews and move them onto completely different products, so I gave up and deleted everything.

None of the online reviews can be trusted, trustpilot, yelp, tripadvisor, none of them are worth looking at any more.

That's just as I feel. I used to review things but it started to get silly when you get emails asking you to review the purchase of a thrupenny washer etc. And then there's purchases where the emails offer a 'free gift' if you leave a 5 star review (or bribery, as it's normally called). And the fact that huge corporations have built their business on the backs of the customer feedback and reviews, and then squirrel away the billion sized profits in offshore tax free havens. Pah !

[brightncheerful]

The Amazon delivery driver, a female, was i observed (I was looking out of the window) smoking a cigarette before she got out of the van and carrying the parcel walked to our front door.

I took the package from the outside mat where she had placed it, thanked her and then sniffed the package: it stank of tobacco. I unwrapped the item and put the cardboard into the wheelie bin. I then left the item outside in the sunshine for about half an hour to air it.

Amazon asked how was your delivery. We said that the delivery was ok but the tobacco smell was not and suggested the female should be reprimanded.

[vagrantbrain]

To be fair on Amazon, "All good, thanks" doesn't really add much value at all for anyone thinking of buying the product!

Although not in the same league as those people who reply "sorry i haven't bought the product" in the Ask A Question boxes

[AleisterCrowley]

The Amazon delivery driver, a female, was i observed (I was looking out of the window) smoking a cigarette before she got out of the van and carrying the parcel walked to our front door.

I took the package from the outside mat where she had placed it, thanked her and then sniffed the package: it stank of tobacco. I unwrapped the item and put the cardboard into the wheelie bin. I then left the item outside in the sunshine for about half an hour to air it.

Amazon asked how was your delivery. We said that the delivery was ok but the tobacco smell was not and suggested the female should be reprimanded.

BnC , the police should employ you as a sniffer dog (although I always thought your ideal job would have been .... Stasi informer in East Germany)

[88V8]

I only use Amazon as a last resort.
My first resort is the local shops... why would anyone use Amazon for something they could buy locally?

After that, eBay. On the whole I trust the reviews there - no one edits them or removes them or otherwise sabotages what is written... they're rating the seller rather than the product, but any product review posted just a few days after receipt is worthless anyway.

Rate your washing machine... that's only been here two days.
Pfft.

V8

[CliffEdge]

Our washing machine has been here four years.

[dealtn]

I only use Amazon as a last resort.
My first resort is the local shops... why would anyone use Amazon for something they could buy locally?

It might be cheaper.
It get's delivered which might be more convenient.
It's open 24 hours whilst the shops might not be.
It's immediately available, the availability of the local option might be unknown - the search costs are much lower.
The supplier might have a better reputation.
It might have better warranties, or after sales service.

There might be lots of legitimate reasons.

[scrumpyjack]

I buy most stuff on Amazon. It's 6 miles to the nearest shop and Amazon have a massively greater selection and usually lower prices. I ignore the reviews as I suspect most are written by sweatshops in the far east employed to do so, though I do use Fakespot just in case.

Also much much greener to buy on Amazon where one driver goes round a couple of hundred homes a day delivering, rather than each of us driving to a shop where the product has had to be delivered from a warehouse anyway.

If I don't like it, I just return it for a refund - no quibble. Usually compare to ebay in case it's cheaper there.

Change is always difficult, which is why the Luddites did not like weaving machines, but you can't and shouldn't stop it.

[malkymoo]

On the subject of reviews, I almost got led astray yesterday when I was researching for a replacement tap on Screwfix. One I was looking seemed to have excellent reviews until I noticed that Screwfix have sneakily changed the default sort of reviews to highest rated first. A change of sort to lowest first or latest first gave a very different picture.

[sg31]

I like to support local shops as much as I can but it's a small town and doesn't have shops for most things needed.

There's a couple of dress shops, both very expensive. I've never worn a dress.

2 chemists which seems a bit like overkill.

10 pubs.

5 indian restaurants, 2 chippies, one Thai restaurant, 1 kebab shop.

I flower shop.

1 decent butchers

3 bakers

4 antique shops

1 book shop

4 Estate Agents

1 Tesco local.

You might gather that we get a fair few tourists round here but it's not really much use for locals.

We can and do travel to the bigger town which is better served by shops but it's not 'local'. In the hamlet where I live we do swap things amongst ourselves on an informal basis. My nextdoor neighbour gave me half a sheep and about 4 ton of manure for my garden, I've given him tons of runner beans, potatoes, tomatoes, fruit by the bucket load. Other neighbours share their surplus around too. We are amply supplied with local food. Other stuff we order online, It's quicker, cheaper, easier.

I gave up on shops when an item I wanted was 'to order' with 3 weeks delivery time, I bought it online for next day delivery at a 30% cheaper price. Have that happen a few times and it's easy to change.

[bungeejumper]

My nextdoor neighbour gave me half a sheep and about 4 ton of manure for my garden.

Oh thanks, that's an image that I won't get out of my mind in a hurry. What exactly had your neighbour been feeding to the other half of the sheep?

BJ

[tjh290633]

There's a couple of dress shops, both very expensive. I've never worn a dress.

2 chemists which seems a bit like overkill.

10 pubs.

5 indian restaurants, 2 chippies, one Thai restaurant, 1 kebab shop.

I flower shop.

1 decent butchers

3 bakers

4 antique shops

1 book shop

4 Estate Agents

1 Tesco local.

Looks like you are a bit deprived. We are a village that has grown a bit (about 6,000 population now, at a guess).

One chemist

3 pubs and a Wine Bar, 1 Indian, 1 Chinese, 1 Pizza place, 1 Chippy, and 2 cafes.

1 Flower shop, 1 newsagent.

1 butcher, 1 deli, 1 wine shop, 1 off-licence, 1 baker, 1 Co-op store

2 barbers, 4 ladies hairdressers, 2 dress shops, 1 bridal shop,

1 antiques bazaar, 2 gift shops, 1 funeral director, 3 estate agents.

All along one high street. No banks, but an ATM outside the Co-op and the Post Office will deal with your banking needs.

TJH

[SimonS]

Looks like you are a bit deprived. We are a village that has grown a bit (about 6,000 population now, at a guess).

One chemist

3 pubs and a Wine Bar, 1 Indian, 1 Chinese, 1 Pizza place, 1 Chippy, and 2 cafes.

1 Flower shop, 1 newsagent.

1 butcher, 1 deli, 1 wine shop, 1 off-licence, 1 baker, 1 Co-op store

2 barbers, 4 ladies hairdressers, 2 dress shops, 1 bridal shop,

1 antiques bazaar, 2 gift shops, 1 funeral director, 3 estate agents.

All along one high street. No banks, but an ATM outside the Co-op and the Post Office will deal with your banking needs.

TJH

Population 2500
1garage (repairs/sell cars)
1 'OneStop' shop with PostOffice
1 shop selling windows
1saddlery
1 estate agent
1 commercial kitchen equipment outlet
1 Spa Therapy/Beauty
1 Working Mens Club
2 golf clubs
1 paragliding school/ adventure sports/farm
1 station (unmanned)
2 schools ,both private.
2 churches
17 property developers
2 Motorway Junction within 10 miles

40 years ago there were:

Population about 1000
1Postoffice with store
1butcher
1 baker
1 haberdashery
1 haircutting salon (unisex)
1 garage selling petrol and car repairs
4 churches ( 3 denominations)
1 estate agent
1 golf club
2 schools(private)
2 doctors
1 dentist
2 grocery shops
1 village store
1 Working Mens club
1 TeaRoom
2RAF airfields within 10 miles
1 Army Barracks within 6 miles
1 Station with Goods Siding
No Motorway within 40 miles

Progress?

[Arborbridge]

I only use Amazon as a last resort.
My first resort is the local shops... why would anyone use Amazon for something they could buy locally?

After that, eBay. On the whole I trust the reviews there - no one edits them or removes them or otherwise sabotages what is written... they're rating the seller rather than the product, but any product review posted just a few days after receipt is worthless anyway.

Rate your washing machine... that's only been here two days.
Pfft.

V8

Aha! A like minded individual. I dislike Amazon for several reasons, and only use it as a completely last resort - even if I have to pay more.

Arb.