A test, a test, a kingdom for a test

[SimonS]

Just before Xmas I took a present to a neighbour's house (they have a birthday on 24 Dec). On Christmas Eve they rang to say that they had tested positive for Covid.

None of the local pharmacies had any tests.
The Government website said that they have no slots to deliver in our area.

I booked a testkit on the website and printed out the notice,identifying the pharmacy that does out regular prescriptions, thinking that having reportedly spent £30 billion on creating Track and Trace, is they presumably matched deliveries with orders.

The pharmacy rapidly disabused me of that notion. "Our deliveries aren't predictable or regular, and they are completely gone within minutes, certainly within the hour of being delivered"
" But I have a number"
" So has everyone else, deliveries are falling far short of the demand."
" So how do I get a test?"
1: don't go to your medical centre, not for a Covid Test.
2: Our local PCR test site is fully booked or shut. So are the others within a 20 mile radius. Or I can wait as a "Stand-by" in case someone doesn't turn up
3: My wife's physio (Wife is severely disabled, physio keeps her more or less mobile) has to take tests regularly, so I cadge one from her 4 days later.
I tested negative, and fill in the report of test.

Shortly after that the NHS contact me saying that their records show I haven't had a second jab or my booster and doing so will reduce my risk. I ring the medical centre; they confirm my documents show I've had both jabs and the booster.

I've booked Boris a training course in Burton on Trent, a place with a sufficiency of breweries.

[Hallucigenia]

Someone's built a bot that watches for when LFTs are available or not :
https://twitter.com/LFT_alert

New batches seem to be released at 07.15, 12.15 and 16.15, and get booked up within an hour or so.

[Beerpig]

Ihad a similar problem with COVID vaccination records.
I had the first two jabs but the system only recorded one on my Covid pass which caused all sorts of problems trying to fly out of the country a few weeks ago.
I had to take a negative PCR test for £85 while the Covid record department sorted their mistake out.
They rang me on my mobile without warning when I was at a party. D dint recognise the number and didn't respond.
Same the next day when I was waiting to get on in court.
They sent me a text saying it was them and they wanted to speak to me to verify when I had my second jab that was not on the system.
Next time they called I took it and having gone through many, many hoops identifying who I was for id purposes, they asked me for detailed information regarding the second jab which I had on my phone and had to put them on hold while I retrieved it, When I went back to give the information they requested, the caller had gone.
I then received a text from them saying they only call people three times and if the matter is not concluded, I have to contact my GP again to set the enquiry up all over again for another three calls.

[XFool]

..."Psst! Wanna buy an LFT test? All legit. Honest, guv!"

[bungeejumper]

..."Psst! Wanna buy an LFT test? All legit. Honest, guv!"

As seen on Ebay. "Clearing ex-display merchandise or unwanted stock. These new, unused items have no signs of wear, but they may be missing the original packaging, or they may be in the original packaging but not sealed."

One careful owner. Don't ask about all the others.

BJ

[Lanark]

In the USA everyone has to pay around $8 per test, so $56 per box.

Which may explain why the UK is performing more than twice the number of tests (per 100k population) than the US.