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Re: A conundrum
Posted: June 29th, 2022, 12:45 pm
by Mike4
servodude wrote:CliffEdge wrote:pje16 wrote:I always thought that meant there was no charge for withdrawing cash
some places do charge for that
It is up to you to know how much you have in the bank... surely
Usually you can find out your balance from the machine.
...if that machine involves strain gauges and you perturb the users calf muscles in a known way; but enough of that former life !
I heard a related joke from Jimmy Cricket once at a wedding
"I asked the girl at the bank to check my balance"
"So she gave a shove!"
"No..no.. I said.... I'm worried about the overdraft"
"So she shut the door behind me."
Now even if you don't imagine the pauses for comic effect between those utterances - it's honestly funnier written here than it was at the time
-sd
And given the earlier mention of Viz, here's my fave from them:
"Speed humps" are a misnomer if ever I heard one. If anything, they slow the traffic down.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 1st, 2022, 3:22 pm
by kempiejon
When we were teenagers my brother noted that level crossings were actually quite bumpy.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 7th, 2022, 10:57 am
by UncleEbenezer
chrissyr wrote:I like the road sign (usually on country lanes) that states 'cats eyes removed' - is it a warning about the next village
My recollection is "Heavy Plant Crossing". Always brought to mind Tolkien's Ents.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 7th, 2022, 12:26 pm
by servodude
UncleEbenezer wrote:chrissyr wrote:I like the road sign (usually on country lanes) that states 'cats eyes removed' - is it a warning about the next village
My recollection is "Heavy Plant Crossing". Always brought to mind Tolkien's Ents.
Not heading off to play with Alison Krauss?
Does need punctuation though...
as does "Slow Children Crossing"
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 7th, 2022, 12:54 pm
by UncleEbenezer
servodude wrote:UncleEbenezer wrote:chrissyr wrote:I like the road sign (usually on country lanes) that states 'cats eyes removed' - is it a warning about the next village
My recollection is "Heavy Plant Crossing". Always brought to mind Tolkien's Ents.
Not heading off to play with Alison Krauss?
Never heard of her.
as does "Slow Children Crossing"
Or
those contraceptive adverts?
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 7th, 2022, 1:02 pm
by servodude
UncleEbenezer wrote:servodude wrote:
Not heading off to play with Alison Krauss?
Never heard of her.
Banjo lass - played Glasto this year with some old rocker.
She's really impressive live
.... and then she records stuff as though it's hiding the fact it's a banjo
- we shouldn't be ashamed of having one short string!
- did Tony Trischka try and sound like a jazz guitar!
Anyways... as you were!
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 8th, 2022, 5:46 am
by servodude
servodude wrote:UncleEbenezer wrote:servodude wrote:
Not heading off to play with Alison Krauss?
Never heard of her.
Banjo lass - played Glasto this year with some old rocker.
She's really impressive live
.... and then she records stuff as though it's hiding the fact it's a banjo
- we shouldn't be ashamed of having one short string!
- did Tony Trischka try and sound like a jazz guitar!
Anyways... as you were!
Damn - I just realised I mixed up Alison Brown (banjo) with Alison Krauss (fiddle) in my reply
To make up for that here's Ms Brown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OcgJcVFqyg
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 8th, 2022, 8:10 am
by jfgw
servodude wrote:Damn - I just realised I mixed up Alison Brown (banjo) with Alison Krauss (fiddle) in my reply
So not heading off to
fiddle with Alison Krauss then?
Julian F. G. W.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 8th, 2022, 8:36 am
by DrFfybes
These are terrible.
I'm giving up drinking until Xmas.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 8th, 2022, 5:04 pm
by stevensfo
DrFfybes wrote:These are terrible.
I'm giving up drinking until Xmas.
Yet we haven't even started on Bach's organ works!
Steve
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 11th, 2022, 9:59 pm
by AndyPandy
Watis wrote:In similar vein, if you're travelling into London on the Tube, don't forget to take a dog with you. For, as the signs say: 'Dogs must be carried on escalators'. No dog? Take the stairs.
Watis
In another vein there are signs on the M4 West of Swindon "Keep apart two chevrons". I had to belt it down the motorway one quiet evening to find a car to sit the required distance behind.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 12th, 2022, 8:10 am
by Thruppennybit
In another vein there are signs on the M4 West of Swindon "Keep apart two chevrons"
I saw those signs as well and thought that the chevrons were keeping apart fine all by themselves
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 12th, 2022, 12:31 pm
by stewamax
Mike4 wrote:"Speed humps" are a misnomer if ever I heard one. If anything, they slow the traffic down.
Outside hot-sheet hotels?
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 12th, 2022, 12:32 pm
by jfgw
I am just heading over to Bonmarche as they are advertising ladies' underwear, 50% off
Julian F. G. W.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 12th, 2022, 2:33 pm
by XFool
Time for an oldie? The, possibly apocryphal, Thomas Beecham comment to a woman cellist:
"Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch at it."
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 17th, 2022, 11:44 am
by brightncheerful
Ever since i wasted a hour standing by a staircase or outside a shop keeping an eye out for anything amiss, I've ignored signs that say 'Mind the Step'.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 17th, 2022, 11:47 am
by servodude
brightncheerful wrote:Ever since i wasted a hour standing by a staircase or outside a shop keeping an eye out for anything amiss, I've ignored signs that say 'Mind the Step'.
Do you stare at the orange juice that says "concentrate"?
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 17th, 2022, 11:49 am
by brightncheerful
jfgw wrote:I am just heading over to Bonmarche as they are advertising ladies' underwear, 50% off
Julian F. G. W.
Whenever I see a sign in a shop promoting 25% off I think the item is smaller. I mentioned that to an acquaintance just as she was about to buy something in Waitrose with 30% off as smaller: The next time she saw me she told me in no uncertain terms that the item was the same size as before.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 17th, 2022, 12:18 pm
by Mike4
And then of course there is the difficulty I have using the escalators on the London underground.
There is always a sign saying "Dogs must be carried on the escalator", but sadly I don't always have a dog with me to carry.
Re: A conundrum
Posted: July 17th, 2022, 12:36 pm
by XFool
brightncheerful wrote:Whenever I see a sign in a shop promoting 25% off I think the item is smaller.
I assume you are not being serious here...
However, this is starting to remind me of a
very long thread and discussion on the website of a certain vehicle SatNav company after they announced changes to their verbal announcements at roundabouts because: "
some people found them confusing". Some people... ?
e.g.
"
Go left at the roundabout, take the first exit"
"
Go straight on at the roundabout, take the second exit"
"
Go right at the roundabout, take the third exit"
Nope. Me neither...
+600 posts later. "
The only thing I can think of that might explain this..."
But that's when 'they'* turned 'strange'.
* Or was it just 'him' ?
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