PO scandal redux

[redsturgeon]

I need a new V5 document for my car.

The DVLA will not provide one via an online submission or by phone, it must be done by mail.

I must enclose a cheque or postal order for £25.

I do not have a chequebook, it is many years since I paid for anything with a cheque.

It is decades since a bought a postal order.

I find out that the postal order will cost me £25 plus 12.5%.

It is years since I posted anything by snail mail.

I find out that a stamp is £1.25p.

I go to my local post office, there is nowhere within half a mile to park.

I go to the next nearest post office it has a hand written sign of the door (which has been smashed and boarded up).

(IF THE SHOP IS OPEN THE POST OFFICE IS OPEN)

I cannot tell if the shop is open.

It looks closed...it is closed...perhaps for ever.

I go to the next nearest post office...it is closed...for ever.

I go back to the first post office and park illegally about a hundred yards away.

I will only be a couple of minutes (I think)

I enter the post office.

There is nobody at the post office counter (in front or behind)

There is a sign.

"SHOP CUSTOMERS WILL BE PRIORITISED OVER PO CUSTOMERS WHEN ONLY ONE MEMBER OF STAFF IS PRESENT"

I can only see one member of staff.

There is a long queue at the shop counter.

It is right next to the PO counter so I can see and hear everyone's purchases.

80% are for vapes.

Who knew they came in so many flavours or that the average builder type cared what flavour they vaped.

Or that such a macho looking guy favoured "blueberry bubblegum dream" for his vaping experience.

I wonder how the priority system works here.

In theory there could be an endless stream of new customers that prevent me ever being served.

Eventually there is no queue of VIP fast lane vape customers and the shopkeeper moves to the PO counter.

"Good morning my fine fellow" I say in my best Monty Python cheese shop voice.

"I would like a £25 postal order and a first class stamp please". (No second class for me)

"Do you have cash, sir?" I am asked.

I feel a "Life on Mars" moment as I am zapped back to the 1970s when cash was king and postal orders were the latest thing.

"I'm sorry", I said, feeling like the Queen, "I don't carry cash".

"I must have cash for the postal order", comes the reply.

But you can take some cash out with your card and pay for the postal order with that.

The ghost of Kafka flashes before my eyes.

I try my credit card. Computer says no. I have a several thousand limit on that account.

"Your machine is not working" I say.

"It is you card not the machine" says he.

I try my Monzo card, I have a couple of thousand on that. Computer says no.

Your machine is not working, I say.

"You cannot take cash out on a Monzo card", says he.

"I can and I do frequently" I retort boldly.

He then mumbles something about it being an online bank with no branches and I lose interest and pull out my trump card.

I try my First Direct debit card that has never been known to fail...computer says no.

"Your machine is broken", I say.

"It is not my machine, it is the Post Office's machine", says he triumphantly.

"But we both know the Post Office is broken", say I, feeling the irony is completely lost.

"So no postal order for me then?"

"No"

"No apology either? How very Post Office...

[bungeejumper]

Better out than in, I suppose. Keep breathing. How's the blood pressure?

BJ

[kempiejon]

NPR parking fine to follow?

[bungeejumper]

NPR parking fine to follow?

American radio stations levy parking fines? Poshibly NCP ("no credible prosecutions"?)

BJ

[Redmires]

If I could vote for 'post of the week' this would be it. Made me LOL, as the yoof say

[kempiejon]

NPR parking fine to follow?

American radio stations levy parking fines? Poshibly NCP ("no credible prosecutions"?)

BJ

Thank you, ANPR (Automatic Number Plate Recognition) fine to follow

[UncleEbenezer]

American radio stations levy parking fines? Poshibly NCP ("no credible prosecutions"?)

BJ

Thank you, ANPR (Automatic Number Plate Recognition) fine to follow

Hmmm ...

Isn't it often the case in stories like this, that while arbitrary misfortunes are heaped upon the long-suffering narrator, the misfortune that is richly deserved - in this case a parking penalty - becomes the exception?

Just musin'

(and surely this belongs here?)

[Oggy]

Symptomatic of a broken Britain. Very funny though, which shows just what a laughing stock modern life has become.

[XFool]

I need a new V5 document for my car.

The DVLA will not provide one via an online submission or by phone, it must be done by mail.

I must enclose a cheque or postal order for £25.

I do not have a chequebook, it is many years since I paid for anything with a cheque.

It is decades since a bought a postal order.

I find out that the postal order will cost me £25 plus 12.5%.

It is years since I posted anything by snail mail.

I find out that a stamp is £1.25p.

I go to my local post office, there is nowhere within half a mile to park.

I go to the next nearest post office it has a hand written sign of the door (which has been smashed and boarded up).

(IF THE SHOP IS OPEN THE POST OFFICE IS OPEN)

I cannot tell if the shop is open.

It looks closed...it is closed...perhaps for ever.

I go to the next nearest post office...it is closed...for ever.

I go back to the first post office and park illegally about a hundred yards away.

I will only be a couple of minutes (I think)

I enter the post office.

There is nobody at the post office counter (in front or behind)

There is a sign.

"SHOP CUSTOMERS WILL BE PRIORITISED OVER PO CUSTOMERS WHEN ONLY ONE MEMBER OF STAFF IS PRESENT"

I can only see one member of staff.

There is a long queue at the shop counter.

It is right next to the PO counter so I can see and hear everyone's purchases.

80% are for vapes.

Who knew they came in so many flavours or that the average builder type cared what flavour they vaped.

Or that such a macho looking guy favoured "blueberry bubblegum dream" for his vaping experience.

I wonder how the priority system works here.

In theory there could be an endless stream of new customers that prevent me ever being served.

Eventually there is no queue of VIP fast lane vape customers and the shopkeeper moves to the PO counter.

"Good morning my fine fellow" I say in my best Monty Python cheese shop voice.

"I would like a £25 postal order and a first class stamp please". (No second class for me)

"Do you have cash, sir?" I am asked.

I feel a "Life on Mars" moment as I am zapped back to the 1970s when cash was king and postal orders were the latest thing.

"I'm sorry", I said, feeling like the Queen, "I don't carry cash".

"I must have cash for the postal order", comes the reply.

But you can take some cash out with your card and pay for the postal order with that.

The ghost of Kafka flashes before my eyes.

I try my credit card. Computer says no. I have a several thousand limit on that account.

"Your machine is not working" I say.

"It is you card not the machine" says he.

I try my Monzo card, I have a couple of thousand on that. Computer says no.

Your machine is not working, I say.

"You cannot take cash out on a Monzo card", says he.

"I can and I do frequently" I retort boldly.

He then mumbles something about it being an online bank with no branches and I lose interest and pull out my trump card.

I try my First Direct debit card that has never been known to fail...computer says no.

"Your machine is broken", I say.

"It is not my machine, it is the Post Office's machine", says he triumphantly.

"But we both know the Post Office is broken", say I, feeling the irony is completely lost.

"So no postal order for me then?"

"No"

"No apology either? How very Post Office...

Welcome to 'Broken Britain', 2024

[oldapple]

I feel your pain - but fantastic story. My dad used to say never to go out without some in your pocket (or purse in my case). Fair enough there was no other way to pay for anything back then but there is currently a growing ‘movement’ to encourage people to use cash again. Cash is king. Ridiculously frustrating just to try to obey the law. Not terribly happy myself today, just received a letter from the Education Authority - they’ve overpaid me £1030. (Fujitsu?) I think they’re wrong but I feel a battle looming…

[didds]

Cash is king.

until you are a business that your bank charges you to cash it (more than digital charges). And you cannot pay staff or providers with cash.

This is exactly the position a friend that runs a brewery and two pubs is in.

hence cashless sales for his businesses.

[Nimrod103]

It is decades since a bought a postal order.

It is years since I posted anything by snail mail.

If you only use the services of the PO once in a blue moon, you can hardly expect it to be a vibrant profit making business. So why are you complaining? Do you think it should be a(nother) subsidised service?

[redsturgeon]

It is decades since a bought a postal order.

It is years since I posted anything by snail mail.

If you only use the services of the PO once in a blue moon, you can hardly expect it to be a vibrant profit making business. So why are you complaining? Do you think it should be a(nother) subsidised service?

Lighten up...it can't be that bad.

[Arborbridge]

It is decades since a bought a postal order.

It is years since I posted anything by snail mail.

If you only use the services of the PO once in a blue moon, you can hardly expect it to be a vibrant profit making business. So why are you complaining? Do you think it should be a(nother) subsidised service?

Same question to those who buy from Amazon and other high street destroyers who also happen to pay little tax.

[Mike4]

If you only use the services of the PO once in a blue moon, you can hardly expect it to be a vibrant profit making business. So why are you complaining? Do you think it should be a(nother) subsidised service?

Lighten up...it can't be that bad.

Yeah lighten up, Nim. Let me get you a pint of Scruttocks' Old Dirigible. Or would you prefer a Babycham?

In fact drinks for everyone, its ages since I bought a round in here. Cheers!!!

[Lootman]

I enter the post office.

There is nobody at the post office counter (in front or behind)

There is a sign.

"SHOP CUSTOMERS WILL BE PRIORITISED OVER PO CUSTOMERS WHEN ONLY ONE MEMBER OF STAFF IS PRESENT"

I can only see one member of staff.

There is a long queue at the shop counter.

It is right next to the PO counter so I can see and hear everyone's purchases.

80% are for vapes.

Who knew they came in so many flavours or that the average builder type cared what flavour they vaped.

Or that such a macho looking guy favoured "blueberry bubblegum dream" for his vaping experience.

I wonder how the priority system works here.

In theory there could be an endless stream of new customers that prevent me ever being served.

Eventually there is no queue of VIP fast lane vape customers and the shopkeeper moves to the PO counter.

I have long thought that the basic flaw with PO branches is that postage is just a small part of their business.

My local PO has one of those self-service Costa coffee machines. Now who is out during the day and thinks "I must pop into a PO and get a (presumably very bad) cup of coffee? Nobody, I suspect, and yet there it is. I have otherwise only seen such machines in petrol stations.

Moving on, it also sells crisps, cold drinks, greeting cards and a host of other stuff that I do not need or can get elsewhere. But for customers of junk snacks to get priority over those who seek mail services is rank.

The US has the right idea. A PO does mail and NOTHING ELSE. All the grannies cashing their pension cheques should go to a bank. (I always avoid going to a PO at 9 a.m. as that is peak time for grannies.

[Mike4]

The US has the right idea. A PO does mail and NOTHING ELSE.

I can't help but ask about this. Do they still write letters to each other in the USA then?

[Lootman]

The US has the right idea. A PO does mail and NOTHING ELSE.

I can't help but ask about this. Do they still write letters to each other in the USA then?

Not that much any more. The USPS loses a lot of money. But it is a branch of the government so that matters less. And each zip code has at least one physical PO and so it performs an important civic function in remote locations.

UK PO locations are basically private franchises and so they also offer whatever other products and services that they think might make money e.g. vapes and bad coffee.

A US domestic stamp costs about 50p. That is a bargain considering that it covers a letter going from Maine to Hawaii, or from Alaska to Florida.

[tjh290633]

It is decades since a bought a postal order.

It is years since I posted anything by snail mail.

If you only use the services of the PO once in a blue moon, you can hardly expect it to be a vibrant profit making business. So why are you complaining? Do you think it should be a(nother) subsidised service?

Nowadays my main use of our local sub-Post Office is to carry out banking transactions. Sadly they are not keen to take coins, so that requires a 12 mile round trip and a car park fee, contactless payment only. The transaction shows up immediately on the bank website, but cheques have to be cleared.

That suggests that the system is working properly.

TJH

[Nimrod103]

Lighten up...it can't be that bad.

Yeah lighten up, Nim. Let me get you a pint of Scruttocks' Old Dirigible. Or would you prefer a Babycham?

In fact drinks for everyone, its ages since I bought a round in here. Cheers!!!

Harvey's Best for me.

But then I'm looking downcast again, because I don't frequent pubs as much as I used to (for various reasons). Pubs are losing custom almost everywhere and that means that they are likely to go the same way as the post ofices.

Cheer me up, please.