Sunnypad wrote:Funny, AiY, I was going to post on your thread to ask how things are with you.
It's been a tough year, I can't deny. I'm hanging in there thank you. It's kind of you to ask. Reassuring really.
It's been a much much better 10 days after talking to you lovely Fools, thank you
I'm glad it helps you. I suspect it helps us to.
Sunnypad wrote:I even had a nice lunch out with mum today, though that was mostly because we bumped into a friend in the cafe so it wasn't just chatting with mum!
I didn't have lunch today. I was too busy cleaning and bringing [heavy] furniture in from the garage after decorating.
Sunnypad wrote:I have been really strict about moving her on, conversation wise, when she heads into super depressing territory. I will probably just have to keep restating boundaries.
Do you think you've been really strict with your Mum, or do you think you've been kind to yourself?
Sunnypad wrote:A couple of days, I have told her that I can't have our usual hour chat because my brain is too fried after work and she accepted it gracefully.
Any relationship is a two way event. Both parties have to compromise and recognise limits
Sunnypad wrote:Perhaps less time with her is achievable though I realise it will increase as the years go by - but I am trying to live in the moment, as least on that side of things!
I understand. You have a life of your own. And it's perfectly reasonable for you to live your life as you want. You will only get one chance. There's no return ticket. What I find remarkable about your posts is that you are a very loyal daughter. The support you give is genuinely beyond reproach. Yet at the same time there's got to be room for you. There's got to be you time. There's got to be an acceptance from you Mum that you have your own life. It will be hard to reshape your relationship with your Mum. There may be times when you feel you aren't making progress. Times when you feel that having moved forward there comes a threat to that advancement. Such moments and times will be difficult for you and you will have to call on all your strength to reassure yourself that it's just a blip. A bump that can be ironed out.
Would you agree that you're running a marathon? It's doesn't sound as if it's a sprint. Stay strong be kind, to yourself first and when you have the emotional strength then you can extend kindness to others.
I can't say there will be an end. I can't say any route is better than another. I can't even say there is a route. I can say, though, that you just have to keep plugging away.
Always good talking with you