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The Lemon Fool

A friendly ear
AsleepInYorkshire
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The Lemon Fool

#504934

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » June 5th, 2022, 1:07 am

Two weeks ago I was 60. My daughter was 15 on the same day.

As luck would have it, and I'm talking about my luck and its direct association with my health, I managed to get Covid 19, 2 weeks before our joint birthday. I didn't test negative until 3 days before our birthday. After which I was still coughing, too a point of almost passing out and also feeling some significant post viral fatigue. And my luck didn't quite stop there. On Monday (7th June) I have some tests at Sheffield sleep clinic over two days. Ahead of that I've had to come off my "wake up medication". I have been wiped out. I've been worse than exhausted.

My Mum passed away in early December last year and my sibling has decided she doesn't like Mum's will and is, and please forgive me, playing at silly greedy devils. Our brand new carpet in the lounge has been damaged by an air freshener and the supermarket we purchased it from are being complete silly obnoxious devils. I've a little letter to complete to HMRC as they owe me about £15K and after 8 years of them playing at silly omnipotent devils I am quite worn out. We've had furniture delivered which was not fit to put in the garden as bird houses so it was sent back. Two weeks later the £1,450 is not back in our account. What a wonderful surprise. On the upside the Funeral Directors have, after two months of playing at silly, greedy devils put £2,000 back in Mums account. I've not left it there. I've escalated.

Over the last week I've started to get a little frustrated as I want to get jobs around the house done and don't have the energy. Hopefully when I go back on my "wake up meds" on Wednesday life will seem a little easier.

None of the above is of any real importance though. It's "noise" and I need to man up and deal with it. [expletive deleted] happens.

I'm disappointed. I think I'm disappointed with myself. Because I think my values aren't realistic. I thought TLF was a community, albeit small. I'm struggling to dovetail that with some of the "blunt" responses I see. Oh, before the angels appear, I know I can fight my own corner [very] more well than I need to. I try to understand other posters feelings. Stupid I know. I try to respond to each poster in a way that I think may communicate best with them. I know I'm probably over-thinking that too.

I'm trite - I know.

What is trust? How do we learn to trust? Trust is usually learned at a very early age when a baby is nurtured by kind caring parents. "The" baby learns to trust other human beings from its early interaction with its parents. Not all babies learn to trust. There is a breakdown in the process. It can be caused by the parents behaviours or some babies simply do not "learn" to trust. Later in life that becomes a heavy burden.

I struggle to trust. I can assure you it's not insecurity. It's way past that.

I'm not posting to ask you to sympathise with me. Come on, why would I do that? Nothing to gain for me on that score. I know many of you carry pains, be they emotional, financial, physical or mental. Those pains are just as important as anyone else's.

I can't always be kind. I can't always be silent when I should be. I can't always be perfect. I can't always be tolerant. I can't be angelic, never. I can only ever be human. But sometimes I do feel as if that's just not quite enough. TLF is a special place for me. Some of you may share that feeling.

AiY(D)

kiloran
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#504946

Postby kiloran » June 5th, 2022, 8:52 am

AsleepInYorkshire wrote: On Monday (7th June) I have some tests at Sheffield sleep clinic over two days.

AiY(D)

Monday is 6th June. Make sure you have the right day for your appointment!

--kiloran

AsleepInYorkshire
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#504964

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » June 5th, 2022, 11:09 am

kiloran wrote:
AsleepInYorkshire wrote: On Monday (7th June) I have some tests at Sheffield sleep clinic over two days.

AiY(D)

Monday is 6th June. Make sure you have the right day for your appointment!

--kiloran

Whoopsie :oops:

The hospital will spend about 2hrs "wiring me up". I know - boring. They will superglue (yes I said superglue) 16 wires to my head amongst other things. But I should share this with you, as the joke is "on me". Having prepared me they will then send me over the road to a hotel where I will spend the night. I am dreading booking in :roll:

I'll leave you with that vision :lol:

AiY(D)

Mike88
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#504987

Postby Mike88 » June 5th, 2022, 12:16 pm

Now I am depressed. I would long to be 60 again. I grew up with my teacher mum always telling me that there are people far worse off than yourself and that thought has remained with me for my entire life. I have many problems, mainly with my wife, who has dementia meaning that all our plans for spending our retirement touring the World now won't happen even though we have the cash, but there are people far worse off than me. My mantra is to accentuate the positive to eliminate the negative.

scrumpyjack
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#505015

Postby scrumpyjack » June 5th, 2022, 1:14 pm

Mike88 wrote:Now I am depressed. I would long to be 60 again. I grew up with my teacher mum always telling me that there are people far worse off than yourself and that thought has remained with me for my entire life. I have many problems, mainly with my wife, who has dementia meaning that all our plans for spending our retirement touring the World now won't happen even though we have the cash, but there are people far worse off than me. My mantra is to accentuate the positive to eliminate the negative.


I know how you feel, Mike, as I have the same problem as well as several other far far worse ones. It does give one a different perspective on life and the feeling that most of the things people get so agitated about are really incredibly trivial. But these are private matters and when someone asks ‘How are you?’, you wonder for a moment whether to give a truthful answer. But no, that really would not be fair on the nice person talking to you. You just have to try and get on with life as best you can and not burden others with your problems. Good friends are incredibly supportive and you find out which of your friends are really that.

Itsallaguess
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#505019

Postby Itsallaguess » June 5th, 2022, 1:22 pm

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:
The hospital will spend about 2hrs "wiring me up". I know - boring.

They will superglue (yes I said superglue) 16 wires to my head amongst other things. But I should share this with you, as the joke is "on me".

Having prepared me they will then send me over the road to a hotel where I will spend the night. I am dreading booking in :roll:

I'll leave you with that vision :lol:


"Sorry for bothering you, but may I get some more of those lovely camomile tea-bags for Room 34 please?"

Image

Source - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR5BfQ4rEqQ

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

scrumpyjack
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#505024

Postby scrumpyjack » June 5th, 2022, 1:40 pm

That must be Boris!
:D

Clariman
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#505131

Postby Clariman » June 5th, 2022, 9:25 pm

AiY

Congratulations on your milestone birthday. I hope you were able to enjoy it despite having covid just beforehand.

You sound as if you have a lot on your plate just now, which must be hard if you are off normal medications. I don't know about you, but I'm fine dealing with a handful of stressful things, but one too many and it affects my mood. It sounds as if you have more than a handful on the go so take it easy and deal with one at a time.

Regarding TLF, I hope it is a community. It was a community that Stooz and I wanted to keep going when TMF withdrew the forums there. But you know all that!

Trying to understand where people are coming from is a great attribute, but we can only get a partial picture, based on what people share here.

Hope the tests go well next week and you get back on to suitable meds again.

All the best
C

pje16
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#505145

Postby pje16 » June 5th, 2022, 10:55 pm

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:
kiloran wrote:
AsleepInYorkshire wrote: On Monday (7th June) I have some tests at Sheffield sleep clinic over two days.

AiY(D)

Monday is 6th June. Make sure you have the right day for your appointment!

--kiloran

Whoopsie :oops:

The hospital will spend about 2hrs "wiring me up". I know - boring. They will superglue (yes I said superglue) 16 wires to my head amongst other things. But I should share this with you, as the joke is "on me". Having prepared me they will then send me over the road to a hotel where I will spend the night. I am dreading booking in :roll:

I'll leave you with that vision :lol:

AiY(D)


Best of luck and hope it all goes well

AsleepInYorkshire
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506271

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » June 10th, 2022, 1:23 pm

I thought I'd update.

Firstly, thank you for the support.

Would it be erroneous to just give a shout out to Mike88 and scrumpyjack? I am always saddened to hear of anyone's problems, be they health, wealth or even happiness. If you're having a bad day and just need to talk then you can always come to CC. There's no judgement in this small cafe. Take care. Carpe diem.

I don't want IAAG to go unmentioned neither. His sense of humour does need some work and I have arranged for him to go on a course to help. I know, coming from me that's hypocrisy at its zenith. Actually in fairness to accuracy, which I know IAAG swears by I thought many of you would enjoy these photographs. Have a laugh on me :lol:

Image

Image

I'd also like to take issue with kiloran too. Because you always get one, don't you :roll:. And I'm referring to myself :shock: I've had three tests. I've worn an actigraphy watch on my ankle for two weeks (no it wasn't a tag :roll: ). I've had a polysomnography sleep study and a Multi Sleep Latency Sleep Study. On May 10th I had to come off my Modafinil (which is my "wake up medication"). And from May 24th when I started wearing my tag actigraphy watch I've kept my caffeine intake to almost nothing. So I've been, for the most, exhausted for the last month. Mr. k quite rightly spotted my [deliberate] error with dates. I like to keep him on his toes :twisted:. However, and I really have to take issue with him for, as usual, being correct, the dates for my sleep study's were the 8th & 9th June. Not the 6th & 7th. I was mislead by a wrong date on the actigraphy documentation.

Big up for kiloran and may I suggest you look at earning a living predicting the future (perhaps of stock prices ;) )

I feel it would be quite disingenuous not to call out Clariman (or as I often address him, quite tongue in cheek and as a mark of respect, Mr. C) too. I'm aware that he supports CC enthusiastically, energetically and dare I say it, as it's my perception, vehemently. I can only speak for myself but hope that others agree with me that we do owe him, stooz and of course the unspoken moderators behind the scenes a great debt. Thank you.

Thank you for your good wishes Paul. You're a good person, with a huge heart.

I know many didn't respond by posting but am aware they have read and left an acknowledgement which I have assumed is encouragement, support and understanding. Apart from the cathartic experience of posting, I hope that I can, in some small way, provide awareness or maybe encourage others to feel some hope, no matter how small. Never give in ... never, never, never! In all things, large or small, never surrender. The Americans have a phrase - "hang tough". There will be times in everyone's life when this will be a huge ask. That's when we need each other.

Finally ... as you can see from the photographs above I was wired up very well. I had to walk from the hospital to a hotel about 400m away. I also had to walk through the hospital too. I was on the 14th floor :( . I decided to take my winter coat and use my hood to cover my head. This worked well. Until I left the hospital. Then I had to walk into the wind and use one hand to hold my hood in place. I wasn't able to zip my coat up as I had a large bag of terminals and wires on my waste which prevented me zipping up. So ... one hand on my hood, the other carrying the video camera case that was part of the overnight study and an unzipped coat, I set off. As I walked up the hill I had to stand aside to allow a young girl (possibly 12-16 years old) to pass by. I stood back and smiled and gestured to give way. As I did the wind blew open my coat, exposing the bag and wires on my left hip.

Yes, She did look very concerned. Sometimes the best made plans just aren't good enough. The following morning I didn't bother with my coat, but put my shirt over the bag. I didn't fancy someone calling the Police to attend a suspected bomber :oops:

My results could be 8 weeks yet. About 11am this morning I took my first wake up medication and am feeling awake(ish). I've slept this morning until 11am.

What does the future hold for me? I don't know. The correct diagnosis and medication will be a good start. But having waited 47 years to get this far I am not holding my breath. I have now accepted some changes to my lifestyle need to occur and have a plan to secure a reasonable income over the next year whilst working at home.

I have a loving, caring 15 year old daughter and my good lady of some 36 years now who has shown incredible tolerance and support. It's not been easy for them too.

Thank you for listening.

Take care all

AiY(D)
PS ... before anyone raises the point I have booked in for Botox and an extreme face lift :lol:

pje16
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506273

Postby pje16 » June 10th, 2022, 1:37 pm

Hi AiY
Thanks for the comprehesive update
I did wonder what "As I did the wind blew open my coat, exposing....." was going to lead to :lol:
Take it easy and rest, I find that is the best "medicine" for a lot of things
If I live closer I'd popin and say "Hello"
maybe one day when I'm passing through your part of the world
take care
all the best
Paul

monabri
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506294

Postby monabri » June 10th, 2022, 3:00 pm

Half man, half machine...and a little bit biscuit! ;)

kiloran
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506295

Postby kiloran » June 10th, 2022, 3:10 pm

AsleepInYorkshire wrote: I wasn't able to zip my coat up as I had a large bag of terminals and wires on my waste which prevented me zipping up.

That must have caused problems flushing it down the loo :lol:

Yes, you're right, there's always one :oops:

Hope some good comes of your ordeal.

--kiloran

AsleepInYorkshire
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506300

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » June 10th, 2022, 3:29 pm

kiloran wrote:
AsleepInYorkshire wrote: I wasn't able to zip my coat up as I had a large bag of terminals and wires on my waste which prevented me zipping up.

That must have caused problems flushing it down the loo :lol:

Yes, you're right, there's always one :oops:

Hope some good comes of your ordeal.

--kiloran

That's spooky. The ensuite room in my 4 star hotel (rating hotly debated by me :roll: ) had a huge deep window next to the toilet. No blinds or curtains and the frosting was particularly light. How did you know? :o Has the hotel trade no idea regarding privacy? Or are we going the way of Egypt?

AiY(D)

ReformedCharacter
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506306

Postby ReformedCharacter » June 10th, 2022, 3:51 pm

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:That's spooky. The ensuite room in my 4 star hotel (rating hotly debated by me :roll: ) had a huge deep window next to the toilet. No blinds or curtains and the frosting was particularly light.
AiY(D)

Ah, I wondered who it was :)

RC

servodude
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506422

Postby servodude » June 11th, 2022, 3:46 am

AsleepInYorkshire wrote:
kiloran wrote:
AsleepInYorkshire wrote: I wasn't able to zip my coat up as I had a large bag of terminals and wires on my waste which prevented me zipping up.

That must have caused problems flushing it down the loo :lol:

Yes, you're right, there's always one :oops:

Hope some good comes of your ordeal.

--kiloran

That's spooky. The ensuite room in my 4 star hotel (rating hotly debated by me :roll: ) had a huge deep window next to the toilet. No blinds or curtains and the frosting was particularly light. How did you know? :o Has the hotel trade no idea regarding privacy? Or are we going the way of Egypt?

AiY(D)


Quite normal to record motion in a sleep study; motions however!? that's certainly novel.

Anyway can I be in your gang? (apologies for the cheep SP02 monitor it's the only one I've got the house?)

Image

- always amazes me that folk get any sleep at all when wired up!

-sd

GoSeigen
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506434

Postby GoSeigen » June 11th, 2022, 7:44 am

servodude wrote:Image

- always amazes me that folk get any sleep at all when wired up!

-sd


Nice pic, reminiscent of this:



https://time.com/3881388/behind-the-picture-young-man-with-a-camera-1951/

Image

AsleepInYorkshire
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Re: The Lemon Fool

#506457

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » June 11th, 2022, 9:58 am

servodude wrote:Quite normal to record motion in a sleep study; motions however!? that's certainly novel.

That was Mr. k. He never takes long to bring the conversation down to toilet talk :lol: My badness. Sorry my baldness :shock: . I've added Mr. k and myself to IAAG's course as it's clear we need help with our sense of humour too :roll:

servodude wrote:Anyway can I be in your gang? (apologies for the cheep SP02 monitor it's the only one I've got the house?)

Image

I've put a motion (sorry couldn't resist) to the gang members. Seems your in.

servodude wrote:- always amazes me that folk get any sleep at all when wired up!

-sd

It always amazes me that people can sleep :lol:

Take care Mr.sd. Your subs are due every Tuesday :)

AiY(D)
Ducking as I know kiloran will be throwing something heavy in my direction :lol:


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