Musings on middle age

[Sunnypad]

This is just another of my random musing posts, nothing is actually wrong

I just really noticed recently that I'm seeing some real stereotypes of middle age around me. I had always perceived mid life crises as being possibly made up but seeing a lot of ..not out of character behaviour, but stuff that almost seems it came from a rubbish sit com.

I am 46, my main issue is laziness but I have learned to forgive myself . However, interestingly, having felt like a target of criticism for much of my life, due to not wanting marriage and children, i'm finding many crises ridden folk are telling me I made the right choice.

I do agree I did (for me) but you can't say that to people who are genuinely regretting theirs.

Ironically, post lockdown, I am so friendless, I am actually pondering the merits of a boyfriend but I might just be having a mad half hour so I've not said it to anyone. Really a cleaner might be a better investment! I would like to delegate to someone....on account of being lazy I guess.

Perhaps it's like the 7 year itch and the people I'm referencing are reaching an age where they want something else...just as long as it's a change. I don't want to say all of what's happened just this week as I'm always worried if I'll bump into someone
I know on here. But there's been four people I work with making some quite shocking statements/decisions this week.

I think the fact that people have no filter is also weird. Telling me you came out as bisexual is fine, but for all I know, you might have been bi all along and I'm not your wife so why are you telling me? (And I bet she wishes she knew before and no, I am not surprised your kids are taking it badly, now, can we move on and talk about this work we are doing....).

Roll on the weekend!

[Gersemi]

I am also very lazy and don't have, and have never wanted children. They certainly seem like a lot of hard work. However a partner can help, as if trained properly they can pick up some of the work required (though we both do as little as possible). I should point out though that he trains me as well and can be very exacting about some things!

[Sunnypad]

Hello *Gersemi*
Always nice to meet a fellow childfree one!

I have had a couple of boyfriends who were very exacting but when they help, it gets done much faster than just me going "gosh, this is boring, what music do I choose next" and then I end up singing and dancing rather than tidying.

I'm much better at mum's house, but that's probably because there's actual space to keep everything in a sensible way.

I do find I cba with certain things without a friend in tow, didn't go anywhere this summer - I don't like to go abroad but would normally have a few day trips with people.

It has come as a surprise, at the ripe age of 46, to find myself wanting company but I used to have loads of it and I guess I took it for granted.

My most recent ex - going back a long way - now has both parents with Alzheimers. So sad, his mum doesn't even recognise him. He knows he is welcome to call and have a whinge any time he needs to - but good grief, I am relieved not to be the girlfriend having to help out there.

I have never thought about dating as such, but it made me realise, there's a whole bunch of stuff I'd want to check about someone that wasn't really applicable when I last had involvements.

[stewamax]

Perhaps it's like the 7 year itch and the people I'm referencing are reaching an age where they want something else...just as long as it's a change.

Is the desire for something else -wanting a 'change' - merely masking a need to achieve something. Such an achievement may be something trivial like 'mow the lawn and cut the hedge neatly' (after which you can rest and have a well-earned cup of tea or something stronger), through having a few days and Paris and speaking only French (OK - choose your country and language), to learning to read music sufficient to join a choir.

And this is where laziness supervenes: 'it looks like rain so I can't mow the grass today'; 'Oh - I can't remember enough French and there are no night-classes nearby'; 'it's going to be a terrible slog and take ages to learn music notation and how to sing from it'. All excuses - which lead to a life of sameness.

[Sunnypad]

Perhaps it's like the 7 year itch and the people I'm referencing are reaching an age where they want something else...just as long as it's a change.

Is the desire for something else -wanting a 'change' - merely masking a need to achieve something. Such an achievement may be something trivial like 'mow the lawn and cut the hedge neatly' (after which you can rest and have a well-earned cup of tea or something stronger), through having a few days and Paris and speaking only French (OK - choose your country and language), to learning to read music sufficient to join a choir.

And this is where laziness supervenes: 'it looks like rain so I can't mow the grass today'; 'Oh - I can't remember enough French and there are no night-classes nearby'; 'it's going to be a terrible slog and take ages to learn music notation and how to sing from it'. All excuses - which lead to a life of sameness.

I didn't see this post as I was posting about mum after.

These are people that I consider have achieved way more than me. I don't think it's a bad thing to have a total life change, just surprised by some of the things I am seeing.

Then again, if I become mum's carer, a lot of people I work with will be very surprised indeed!