Voice

[stewamax]

My wife of 53 years marriage died late last year.
Her progressive illness meant that she had been unable to speak clearly or hold a conversation for at least two years.

Not unnaturally, I display many photos of her in her happier days but felt something ill-defined was missing.

Then in clearing her effects I came across a series of video clips that she herself took several years ago. One clip, however, was taken by me of her talking and reading to our grandchildren.

It then hit me what had been missing: her voice.
At that point, for reasons I do not pretend to understand, a huge weight was lifted from the emptiness that prevailed. It was almost like pieces of a jigsaw suddenly falling into place. A gap I was not consciously aware of had been filled.

The loss is still there, but seems ‘understandable’ in a way I cannot put my finger on.

If anyone happens to be in a similar position, do ferret around for voice records as well as photos.
Unlike photos, voices change little with age – youth and extreme old age apart.

(No condolences please)

[didds]

Your post reminds of TFL (or its predecssor?) that reinstated the tube announcements ("Mind the Gap" etc) so that the widow of the deceased chap that had recorded them could hear his voice every day if she wanted

[88V8]

My wife of 53 years marriage died late last year.....
It then hit me what had been missing: her voice.

Our parents have all gone, and indeed it is the first thing one cannot quite recall - the sound of their voice. The tone, the timbre.
We do at least have a professional VHS of my father.
I have some video of my wife - still living - but the format is obsolete. I keep thinking I should do something about it.

On our ansaphone there are clips of callers no longer with us. No idea how I could save them, other than recording them with a microphone. I lost the last clip of my mother's voice when we moved house 12 years ago and left the ansaphone.

This is the thing to watch out for in digital records... that they may evaporate if they are not backed up somewhere, and that they may become irretrievable if the format becomes obsolete.

V8

[Clariman]

I'm glad you found the recordings. I had a similar experience but of my late parents rather than spouse.

We had some.old VHS tapes in the garage, gathering dust. When we recently moved house we considered binning them, but sent a dozen away to be digitised. They had recordings of both our parents and, in particular, my mum and dad saying things that were so them. We had a laugh and a cry but precious memories.
Clariman

[kiloran]

I think you are right about the voice. Mum died in May and, living 300 miles away, I was not able to visit her as often as I wished. But we did talk several times a day on the phone, and that is what I am missing. I've got lots of photos but no voice recordings, except.....

A few years ago, at the age of 95, mum was interviewed by Central ITV news about her charity work and I have a copy of the interview. It's only a minute long, but being professionally recorded it is very good quality, It's great to see her, but the voice is the most comforting. I've played that video a million times in the past few months.

--kiloran

[stewamax]

Ever since I found unexpected solace in the voice in the video clip I mentioned in my original post, I wanted to keep alive and fresh the memory of that voice without putting the clip on 24 x 7 loop playback.

So I recently captured a still frame from the clip, printed it and mounted it in a photo frame. Every time I glance at the photo, my wife’s voice in the clip (and – further – as it was in life) is replayed in my thoughts.

It really works!

[GoSeigen]

My son is at university in Blighty, while we are playing at being economic migrants in a faraway land. Whenever he visits he pretty much daily spends two hours on the piano, running through his repertoire and then composing or practising something new.

After he leaves us for the new academic term we always miss him strongly for some days; this time he left some recordings, which I play through the living room speakers and we have the lovely illusion that he is still with us.


GS

[bruncher]

Thanks for the reminder. I have some messages from my (now deceased) mother on the telephone answering machine that I need to somehow transfer so we can keep them when the machine goes.