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Good plant for a grave?

wildlife, gardening, environment, Rural living, Pets and Vets
neversay
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Good plant for a grave?

#329152

Postby neversay » July 28th, 2020, 10:49 am

As my father's grave is 90 miles away, I'm looking for a discrete plant that would give some colour without being tricky for mowing and maintenance. On my shortlist are primula, cyclamen, mini daffs, crocus and snowdrops. I would really appreciate any advice on which of these, or others, would work best.

bungeejumper
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Re: Good plant for a grave?

#329165

Postby bungeejumper » July 28th, 2020, 11:44 am

We have the same problem with our parents' graves, which are a lot more than 90 miles away, and which we only manage to visit every few years. We find that the closer a plant is to its wild origins, the better it copes. And the more proper soil you've got (as distinct from marble chips), the better.

Cyclamens and pansies are tough, and they show their best in the early spring - which is a nice time of year to be putting up a display of colour. :) Primulas likewise. Small-flowering begonias are great summer value because of their long flowering season. But don't underestimate the wild appeal of welsh poppies or those daisies that have pink petals - they go on forever with zero maintenance.

Daffs and tulips are too much trouble, TBH, because they'll only flower for a few years before the bulbs get tired, and anyway, they need somebody there to clear them away when they're finished. Nepeta (catmint) is one of my own perennial favourites - it flowers freely all summer and most of the autumn with no help at all! - but I'd be looking for a dwarfing variety, because they can get a bit untidy.

On second thoughts, I'm not sure I'd want people to say I put catmint on my mother's grave. Imagine what the neighbours would make of it. :?

BJ

tjh290633
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Re: Good plant for a grave?

#329181

Postby tjh290633 » July 28th, 2020, 12:45 pm

The cemetery where my parents' grave sits has an abundance of cowslips. They obviously get mown down each year after they have flowered, and I suspect that primulas would fare as well. Snowdrops perhaps even better. I would be inclined to avoid later flowering species.

TJH

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Re: Good plant for a grave?

#329194

Postby oldapple » July 28th, 2020, 1:22 pm

The ideas mentioned above all sound lovely. I'm lucky in that my dad's grave is only a few miles away but is on a height and gets wind blown. So I have a planter about two feet by eight inches, maybe ten inches deep, filled with good soil placed at the head of his grave, and that all placed on a tray with a layer of small cobbles to keep it from being too waterlogged. It also saves the marble chips of the surrounding plot from going green. In the middle is planted a dwarf conifer and a small trailing ivy with some flowering plants each side, I think nemesia is one which worked really well for me, but the bulbs/corms mentioned too, especially cyclamen have done well in separate pots I previously placed. I found this for some unbelievable efforts!

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/moongardene ... -planting/

neversay
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Re: Good plant for a grave?

#329196

Postby neversay » July 28th, 2020, 1:33 pm

Thanks @bungeejumper, @tjh290633 and @oldapple. The cemetery is in a small peak district village so is very bleak in winter but slightly sheltered and south-facing. I was a bit hesitant about asking the question but really do appreciate your tips - thank you.

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Re: Good plant for a grave?

#329202

Postby bungeejumper » July 28th, 2020, 2:21 pm

Thank you for sharing, neversay. :) One of our family graves is on a windswept hillside near Bolton, overlooking Rivington Pike, and there's no finer place even when it's freezing! (And no better place to sit and contemplate the universe in general.)

You'll know this obviously, but some churchyards are a bit fussy about what you can put on or around a grave, whereas others take a more relaxed attitude. You should be able to judge the "tone" from what others are already doing. We don't have that option at my mother's family grave, because it's the only one that's ever tended at all! So my cousin and I take turns to fill it with colour. :D

Our local church doesn't like a great profusion of pots and jars and suchlike, which they say clutters the place. That strikes me as a bit sober-sided - but I have to say that I do approve of the ban on solar garden lights and wind chimes!

That might be something to do with the fact that I live ten yards away, just across the road. Like a flipping gamelan concert all day and night. It was either get rid of them or buy an airgun. :evil:

BJ

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Re: Good plant for a grave?

#329217

Postby tjh290633 » July 28th, 2020, 4:22 pm

neversay wrote:Thanks @bungeejumper, @tjh290633 and @oldapple. The cemetery is in a small peak district village so is very bleak in winter but slightly sheltered and south-facing. I was a bit hesitant about asking the question but really do appreciate your tips - thank you.

We lived in the Peak District for a while (1961-3) and I can confirm the bleakness and wind effects at times. My attempts at growing cucumbers led to them being blown down the garden several times.

I think that flowers which grow naturally around there are your best bet.

TJH


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