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Accident

Laughter is the best medicine, find and post jokes. nothing too saucy please, Dad jokes, Current news jokes..
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Thruppennybit
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Accident

#508886

Postby Thruppennybit » June 22nd, 2022, 5:20 pm

A lorry full of Vicks vapour rub overturned on the motorway.

Amazingly there was no congestion for eight hours.

FluffyOverlord
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Re: Accident

#508948

Postby FluffyOverlord » June 23rd, 2022, 8:00 am

A lorry full of wigs overturned on the motorway.

Police are combing the area.

Snorvey
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Re: Accident

#508950

Postby Snorvey » June 23rd, 2022, 8:17 am

Police are investigation a theft of viagra from a lorry at a motorway service station.

Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

servodude
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Re: Accident

#508956

Postby servodude » June 23rd, 2022, 8:38 am

A lorry carrying guitar pedals crashed on the motorway.

Expect delays.

DrFfybes
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Re: Accident

#508988

Postby DrFfybes » June 23rd, 2022, 10:30 am

A tanker full of Alphabetti Spaghetti overturned on the M6 this morning.

If it had split open it would have spelt Disaster.

Snorvey
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Re: Accident

#508989

Postby Snorvey » June 23rd, 2022, 10:36 am

servodude wrote:A lorry carrying guitar pedals crashed on the motorway.

Expect delays.


The effects are expected to reverberate thoughout the region.

stevensfo
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Re: Accident

#509989

Postby stevensfo » June 27th, 2022, 12:12 pm

A lorry carrying one thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus overturned on the motorway.

Police are said to be perplexed, confused, mystified, puzzled and nonplussed.


The same lorry caused a piece of tarmac to collapse, resulting in a very deep and narrow hole.

Police are said to be looking into it.


The hole destroyed part of waste pipes connected to the WC of a nearby police station.

Police say that they have nothing to go on.



Steve

GrahamPlatt
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Re: Accident

#509999

Postby GrahamPlatt » June 27th, 2022, 12:52 pm

An old one…

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the
classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and
their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to
lead the discussion of the word "tragedy."

So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a
farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and
knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."

"No," says President Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted leader. "That's what we would
call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush
searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an
example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a
quiet voice he says: "If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a
missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims President Bush, "That's right. And can you tell
me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great
loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."


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