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GP Visit

Laughter is the best medicine, find and post jokes. nothing too saucy please, Dad jokes, Current news jokes..
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Thruppennybit
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GP Visit

#666675

Postby Thruppennybit » May 30th, 2024, 4:54 pm

GP told me I've got electile dysfunction, which is the inability to get aroused by any of the parties standing for election.

Very common in men of my age, apparently.

Tedx
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Re: GP Visit

#666677

Postby Tedx » May 30th, 2024, 4:57 pm

The Chinese are sending us 100 tons of Viagra in case we have problems with our elections

Sutch
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Re: GP Visit

#666845

Postby Sutch » May 31st, 2024, 1:55 pm

Never mind that ........how did you get a GP visit?

Tedx
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Re: GP Visit

#667389

Postby Tedx » June 4th, 2024, 9:46 am

Japan's UK state visit to go ahead despite election

Look, I'm just pleased to see you.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cxww0e2xlnxo

WickedLester
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Re: GP Visit

#669862

Postby WickedLester » June 20th, 2024, 12:07 am

There's nothing worse than swallowing too many blue pills, getting an election that won't go away and you know no matter how many times you have to keep at it the missus is never gonna give you full marx.

Blimey, now you know you've made a right cock of it all, those pills must be fakes from India.

bungeejumper
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Re: GP Visit

#669922

Postby bungeejumper » June 20th, 2024, 9:27 am

WickedLester wrote:There's nothing worse than swallowing too many blue pills, getting an election that won't go away and you know no matter how many times you have to keep at it the missus is never gonna give you full marx.

It could be worse. Imagine if you got the blue pills mixed up with your dementia medication. A permanent stiffy, and no idea what you were supposed to do with it?

BJ

Gerry557
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Re: GP Visit

#669953

Postby Gerry557 » June 20th, 2024, 11:24 am

bungeejumper wrote:
WickedLester wrote:There's nothing worse than swallowing too many blue pills, getting an election that won't go away and you know no matter how many times you have to keep at it the missus is never gonna give you full marx.

It could be worse. Imagine if you got the blue pills mixed up with your dementia medication. A permanent stiffy, and no idea what you were supposed to do with it?

BJ

The nurse gave grandad a pill every night, stopped him falling out of bed. :D

Tedx
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Re: GP Visit

#669955

Postby Tedx » June 20th, 2024, 11:25 am

Gerry557 wrote:
bungeejumper wrote:It could be worse. Imagine if you got the blue pills mixed up with your dementia medication. A permanent stiffy, and no idea what you were supposed to do with it?

BJ

The nurse gave grandad a pill every night, stopped him falling out of bed. :D


To stop him rolling out of bed.

Good effort though. We need more in the same vein.

WickedLester
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Re: GP Visit

#669979

Postby WickedLester » June 20th, 2024, 2:01 pm

Tedx wrote:
Gerry557 wrote:The nurse gave grandad a pill every night, stopped him falling out of bed. :D


To stop him rolling out of bed.

Good effort though. We need more in the same vein.


I dunno, at that age it would probably make grandad quite vain.

kempiejon
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Re: GP Visit

#669990

Postby kempiejon » June 20th, 2024, 2:38 pm

Bought some Viagra eye drops recently, made me look hard.

stevensfo
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Re: GP Visit

#670353

Postby stevensfo » June 22nd, 2024, 2:04 pm

kempiejon wrote:Bought some Viagra eye drops recently, made me look hard.


Reminds me of when I was scouring the neighborhood, looking for our cat.

Couldn't find him.

My wife said I should look harder.

So I drank ten pints, got my head shaved, arms tattooed and a giant gold ring in my ear.

Still couldn't find him!


Steve

Tedx
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Re: GP Visit

#670360

Postby Tedx » June 22nd, 2024, 2:47 pm

My dog swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles last night

I took him straight to the vet and they kept him in overnight.

I'm waiting for news.

Still no word yet.

brightncheerful
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Re: GP Visit

#672995

Postby brightncheerful » July 5th, 2024, 7:51 pm

stevensfo wrote:
kempiejon wrote:Bought some Viagra eye drops recently, made me look hard.


Reminds me of when I was scouring the neighborhood, looking for our cat.

Couldn't find him.

My wife said I should look harder.

So I drank ten pints, got my head shaved, arms tattooed and a giant gold ring in my ear.

Still couldn't find him!


Steve



Ever since i first read this joke, a long time ago, I've told it to anyone I meet who has a tattoo. Some people laugh, others don't get it.


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