Word play

[brightncheerful]

I've shortened the rope on the bucket they use to collect water in the local village..

That didn't go down well.

[Mike4]

A man was throwing eggs and small pieces of cheese at me.

I thought to myself "How dairy?"

[UncleEbenezer]

A man was throwing eggs and small pieces of cheese at me.

Did you look desperately hungry? Do you need to see a doctor?

[Mike4]

A man was throwing eggs and small pieces of cheese at me.

Did you look desperately hungry? Do you need to see a doctor?

Um... you forgot the punchline to your OB joke

Edit to add oops, forgot my own OB joke!

I went to the doctor and told him I have hearing problems.
He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said yes, "Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has big blue hair"

[kempiejon]

He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said yes, "Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has big blue hair"

Oh that's good. Reminds me of the Hale and Pace gem.
Ron “I don’t like conflicts!”
Ron “I don’t like any breakfast cereal!”.

[servodude]

He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said yes, "Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has big blue hair"

Oh that's good. Reminds me of the Hale and Pace gem.
Ron “I don’t like conflicts!”
Ron “I don’t like any breakfast cereal!”.

Older chap goes for interview on a building site:
"Can you tell me the difference between a girder and a joist?"
"Sure! One wrote Faust and the other Ulysses"

[kempiejon]

Dicken’s ‘A Tale Of Two Cities’ was first serialised in two local newspapers.

“It was the Bicester Times, it was The Worcester Times”

And so Andy Cheyne of the Pointless question gang, gets world class punner title.
https://x.com/richardosman/status/96821 ... 54?lang=en

[SteelCamel]

A man was throwing eggs and small pieces of cheese at me.
I thought to myself "How dairy?"

Eggs aren't dairy, though. But throwing eggs is still rather fowl. And if you're going to throw eggs, they should be duck eggs, of course.

[Dicky99]

Courtesy of Tim Vine...

Did you hear about the bloke who fell in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.

Hair Dresser turns up at Buck Palace and says to the guard "I've come to do Williams hair".
Guard - "have you got a permit?"
Hair Dresser - "no just a light trim"

[brightncheerful]

On a birthday card I am about to send, a bear sits in front of a cake with candles on it. Next to him is a teddy bear.

Bear asks: More cake mate?

Teddy says: No thanks, I'm stuffed!