Relationship graph....

[Itsallaguess]

I've just spent some time making a graph of all my previous relationships.

It's got an ex-axis and a why-axis....

Cheers!

Itsallaguess

[UncleEbenezer]

Two axes. Are you an admirer of Henry VIII?

[stewamax]

Two axes. Are you an admirer of Henry VIII?

<pedant>
Only one axe - his #2 ex (who was framed) received the sword. Whether it felt appreciably different - sharper and more French perhaps - is known only to her. Henry's #'5 on the other hand couldn't keep her knickers on and was lucky not to be burned alive.
</pedant>
Beheading was only abolished in 1973 (but is probably still offered as an alternative to impalement in the more humane of our public schools).

[stewamax]

Beheading was only abolished in 1973 (but is probably still offered as an alternative to impalement in the more humane of our public schools).

And to clarify for American readers, public schools in the UK are fee-paying private schools. Your 'public' schools are our State schools.
We do this to confuse Johnny Foreigner; it is what makes Britain Great.
Neither corporal nor capital punishment is allowed in State schools any more, although some - especially those from Tunbridge Wells (q.v.) - see this as a retrograde step pandering to snowflakes and tree-huggers.

[TUK020]

Beheading was only abolished in 1973 (but is probably still offered as an alternative to impalement in the more humane of our public schools).

And to clarify for American readers, public schools in the UK are fee-paying private schools. Your 'public' schools are our State schools.
We do this to confuse Johnny Foreigner; it is what makes Britain Great.
Neither corporal nor capital punishment is allowed in State schools any more, although some - especially those from Tunbridge Wells (q.v.) - see this as a retrograde step pandering to snowflakes and tree-huggers.

Are you going to explain 'fagging' in this context, and alternative interpretations of impalement?

[Generali]

Beheading was only abolished in 1973 (but is probably still offered as an alternative to impalement in the more humane of our public schools).

And to clarify for American readers, public schools in the UK are fee-paying private schools. Your 'public' schools are our State schools.
We do this to confuse Johnny Foreigner; it is what makes Britain Great.
Neither corporal nor capital punishment is allowed in State schools any more, although some - especially those from Tunbridge Wells (q.v.) - see this as a retrograde step pandering to snowflakes and tree-huggers.

At the same time it might be worth explaining that for some stupid reason football in the UK is played with a foot and a ball rather than throwing a ball from the hand, the latter obviously being the right way to play a game called football.

[stewamax]

... for some stupid reason football in the UK is played with a foot and a ball rather than throwing a ball from the hand, the latter obviously being the right way to play a game called football.

Far better examples can be seen in the attacking movements of The Cloggies (q.v.), especially the deadly Forward Sir Percy and the fabled Triple Arkwright, either of which could inflict groin injury even more serious than could the Blagdon Groper and Nuisance.

[PinkDalek]

At the same time it might be worth explaining that for some stupid reason football in the UK is played with a foot and a ball rather than throwing a ball from the hand, the latter obviously being the right way to play a game called football.

Precisely. For those unaware, Association Football as against Rugby Football.

[stevensfo]

Beheading was only abolished in 1973 (but is probably still offered as an alternative to impalement in the more humane of our public schools).

And to clarify for American readers, public schools in the UK are fee-paying private schools. Your 'public' schools are our State schools.
We do this to confuse Johnny Foreigner; it is what makes Britain Great.
Neither corporal nor capital punishment is allowed in State schools any more, although some - especially those from Tunbridge Wells (q.v.) - see this as a retrograde step pandering to snowflakes and tree-huggers.

Actually, I think the term 'public schools' has pretty much been replaced by 'private schools' these days. Which kind of makes sense.

Corporal punishment was banned in State schools in 1986 and private schools in 1998. It still exists in many southern USA states, results in some horrific injuries (do an internet search) and teachers have complete immunity from any prosecution.

I managed to get through school without any teacher doing anything to my buttocks. I guess I wasn't pretty enough.


Steve