Women's facts about men

[laladonny]

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

Men are very confident people. They are so confident that when they watch sports on television, they think that if they concentrate they can help their team. If the team is in trouble, they coach the players from the living room, and if they're really in trouble, women have to get off the phone in case they call him.

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaners. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. Have you ever seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

If a man prepares dinner for a woman and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

If a woman is dating a man who she thinks might be "Mr. Right," and if he
a) got older,
b) got a new job, or
c) visited a psychiatrist,
she is in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice, voluntarily.

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?"
Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If a woman wants to get rid of a man, she should say "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.
That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

[granretire]

Made me smile.
Notice I can't thank entries on this board