Confession time

[Sutch]

An elderly couple were playing golf with the man poised to play his shot. He hesitated and clearly disturbed confessed to his wife that many years earlier, shortly after their marriage, he had a brief affair with an office girl. The wife was remarkably understanding and forgave him, telling him to forget it as it was so many years ago. She thanked him for his honesty and they played on.

When they reached the green the woman hesitated before putting and confessed that she too had a secret that was weighing heavily on her conscience. “You should know” she said that before we were married, I was born a man and had a sex change.

At this the man exploded with rage and throwing his clubs into the river could barely contain his anger. “What you mean to tell me that all these years, you’ve been playing off the Ladies’ tees”

[bungeejumper]

Which reminds me of the one about the elderly husband who asks his wife whether she's always been faithful to him? And that he won't mind if she's completely honest about any transgressions over the years?

"Yes," she says, "I've been unfaithful to you three times. But it was always for you, darling, not for me."

Which comes as a bit of a shock to the poor fellow, but he recovers his composure and asks her how, when and where?

"Well," she begins, "do you remember that time when we got into difficulty with the mortgage, and the bank were going to foreclose on the house, and then suddenly the manager changed his mind and we kept our home? I did that for you, darling."

"Oh, this is terrible," the old man says. "You really did that? But yes, I suppose you did do it for me. Okay, I forgive you. And the next time?"

"Well," she goes on, "there was the time when you didn't get that promotion at work, and then suddenly your boss changed his mind and made you the head of the division?"

"Oh, this is really awful," the old man says. "You slept with old Snoddy? And to think, all the years I worked for him, and he knew and I didn't? But yes, I suppose it was for me. Okay, I forgive you. So tell me about the third time?"

She hesitates. "Wellllllllllllllll............ Do you remember that time when you were running for president at the golf club? And you were seventeen votes short?"

BJ

[Mike4]

And ANOTHER golf joke...

Husband and wife out on the golf course, wife says to husband "If I die, would you re-marry?" Husband says "Possibly..."

Wife, curious now, responds with: "Ok, but would you let her come and live in our house?"

Husband says "Well I guess so, as it is bought and paid for"

Wife says: "Well I suppose that's fair enough, but would you have her sleep in our bed?" ... husband says "Tough one, but I guess so, for the same reason".

Wife is pretty fed up about this and changes tack. "Would you let her play golf with my golf clubs?" Husband says "Oh no, definitely not."

Wife, feeling a bit better about this now, but curious: "Oh good! But why not?"

Husband: "She's left handed..."