Donate to Remove ads

Got a credit card? use our Credit Card & Finance Calculators

Thanks to johnstevens77,Bhoddhisatva,scotia,Anonymous,Cornytiv34, for Donating to support the site

Joke of the day

Laughter is the best medicine, find and post jokes. nothing too saucy please, Dad jokes, Current news jokes..
Forum rules
Material posted here that is disparaging towards any group on the basis of race, faith, nationality, gender, disability or sexual orientation will be deleted and any poster of such material risks suspension.
AsleepInYorkshire
Lemon Half
Posts: 7383
Joined: February 7th, 2017, 9:36 pm
Has thanked: 10514 times
Been thanked: 4659 times

Joke of the day

#432215

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » August 3rd, 2021, 11:33 am

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

A teacher says "spit out your gum"

Whilst a train says "chew chew"

I'll get me coat

AiY

AsleepInYorkshire
Lemon Half
Posts: 7383
Joined: February 7th, 2017, 9:36 pm
Has thanked: 10514 times
Been thanked: 4659 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432241

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » August 3rd, 2021, 2:10 pm

Snorvey wrote:That's probably the worst Ive read on here since thon 'Its a knick-knack Patty Whack' claptrap.

They can only go up from here :lol:

AiY
Fringe Fool :oops:

AsleepInYorkshire
Lemon Half
Posts: 7383
Joined: February 7th, 2017, 9:36 pm
Has thanked: 10514 times
Been thanked: 4659 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432247

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » August 3rd, 2021, 2:36 pm

Quite by accident I drank a bottle of invisible ink last night

I've been in hospital all day waiting to be seen

AiY

AsleepInYorkshire
Lemon Half
Posts: 7383
Joined: February 7th, 2017, 9:36 pm
Has thanked: 10514 times
Been thanked: 4659 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432248

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » August 3rd, 2021, 2:38 pm

My wifi password is

"Writtenontherouter"

AiY

AsleepInYorkshire
Lemon Half
Posts: 7383
Joined: February 7th, 2017, 9:36 pm
Has thanked: 10514 times
Been thanked: 4659 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432249

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » August 3rd, 2021, 2:39 pm

Elton John purchased his rabbit a little treadmill

It's a little fit bunny

AiY

AsleepInYorkshire
Lemon Half
Posts: 7383
Joined: February 7th, 2017, 9:36 pm
Has thanked: 10514 times
Been thanked: 4659 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432250

Postby AsleepInYorkshire » August 3rd, 2021, 2:40 pm

Anyone who spells the word drawer backwards will get a reward

AiY

stevensfo
Lemon Quarter
Posts: 3438
Joined: November 5th, 2016, 8:43 am
Has thanked: 3810 times
Been thanked: 1398 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432433

Postby stevensfo » August 4th, 2021, 10:14 am

Oxford's new professor of Palindrome Studies in the English department is Dr Awkward.

Mike4
Lemon Half
Posts: 7088
Joined: November 24th, 2016, 3:29 am
Has thanked: 1638 times
Been thanked: 3796 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432451

Postby Mike4 » August 4th, 2021, 11:17 am

In a fit of political correctness the BBC are trialing a short-form weather forecast specifically for Muslim listeners.

Each day the weather will either Sunni, or Shiite.

pje16
Lemon Half
Posts: 6050
Joined: May 30th, 2021, 6:01 pm
Has thanked: 1843 times
Been thanked: 2066 times

Re: Joke of the day

#432452

Postby pje16 » August 4th, 2021, 11:25 am

Never trust atoms, they make up everything :D


Return to “Laughing Lemons”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests