'Man on Internet complains of being on Internet'

[XFool]

Here at the busy newsroom of the Daily Rascal, only this very day we received an urgent letter which we believe is of such importance to the daily lives of our loyal readers, and indeed to all the hard working people of Great Britain, we feel an obligtion, nay a duty, to publish it in full.

Sir,

Little did I realise, when first I connected myself to the Internet (the latest fad in an ever more perplexing world - I contend things have gone downhill since the cessation of the Telegramme Service, but that is for another time) how I would be faced daily with having to make decisions. Yes! Even to having to press buttons on an electrical rodent or so called 'mouse'. The indignity! We did things better in the past.

In an earlier, more civilised era, we eschewed such impositions on our time. In those days, perusing the shelves of books in my local lending library, I had no need to exert myself physically to establish the contents and purport of a book. I had merely to read the title. I give examples below:

A Burnt Out Case - Graham Greene

Undoubtedly a matter of a fire in a piece of personal luggage. Was it an accident? Was it arson? Was it a case of Spontaneous Combustion? I contend any true blue, red blooded Englishman cannot but help have his interest piqued by such enthralling vistas of mystery and investigation opening up before him.

Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck.

Obviously a text on rodent infestation. And jolly useful too, I shouldn't wonder, if you are so afflicted.

But now, today, we are forced to endure the labour of 'clicking' and finding things out. That it has come to this. Is this why we endured Gallipoli?

Sir! It is a disgrace. It ought NOT to be allowed! What is the government going to do about it? Is this what we pay our taxes for? Something must be done.

I remain Sir, most sincerely yours,

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

[CliffEdge]

I thought this thread was going to be about a man on the internet, not about books and libraries and other obsolete vague stuff.

Mods please delete this thread. I have wasted 3 minutes of my time (which I can't get back) and cricked my neck rolling around the floor laughing. If this injury proves to have long-term consequences I will sue the site.

[Mike4]

I thought this thread was going to be about a man on the internet, not about books and libraries and other obsolete vague stuff.

Mods please delete this thread. I have wasted 3 minutes of my time (which I can't get back) and cricked my neck rolling around the floor laughing. If this injury proves to have long-term consequences I will sue the site.

I've just watched a video on youtube of how to build a time machine.

That's 30 minutes of my time I'll be getting back.

[bungeejumper]

There's a man at the end of our road who's been on the internet for 25 years now. They're up there with ladders right now, trying to get him down, but no luck so far.

BJ