The instructions on my microwave meal say stir and recover. Just how tiring do they think stirring actually is?
October is National Procrastination Awareness Month.
'Do Not Touch' must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "let's make this interesting". So we stopped playing chess.
Went to the market yesterday and ended up looking for onions amongst the apples and oranges. It was a fruit aisle search.
As a kid I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how people could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got Facebook.
I was gutted when my girlfriend dumped me for being obsessed with football. After all. we'd been together for 9 seasons.
Just my luck--a day after winning the Nigerian lottery, someone's robbed my bank account.
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