I think the first sign of trouble was when she welded the seat down.
We lost all the vowels from our Scrabble game so I just sold it as the Welsh edition.
I look forward to the invention of faster-than-light travel. What I'm not looking forward to is the long wait in the dark once I arrive at my destination.
In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?"
Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One."
On gravity
The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
Gravity is the most fundamental force in the universe. What would happen if you took it away? You’d have nothing left but gravy.
My doctor diagnosed me with paranoia yesterday. He didn't actually say that but I know he was thinking it.
Headline in today's paper:
POLICE FEAR SODUKO SERIAL KILLER WILL KILL EITHER 3, 6 OR 8 PEOPLE NEXT
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