If [subject] were a [thing], which I can tell you from personal experience it is, ...
To my impoverished understanding (having never formally encountered the grammar of any language save in the context of O-level German) that is simply wrong. The comparison in the first clause implies negation of the condition, but that negation is immediately contradicted by the subordinate clause that follows.
Aaargh!
![Evil or Very Mad :evil:](./images/smilies/icon_evil.gif)