The Lemon Fool

So there I was this morning at my Friday art group. The local U3A (no giggling at the back there, it's actually quite a serious thing - at least four members are professional artists). And they've got an exhibition coming up, and they wanted to have something a bit more catchy than "Art Exhibition" to put on the posters.

So what should they call it? "Come on Bungee, you've got a reliably warped mind. Surely you can think of something a little bit edgy and original?"

I hummed and haaa'd, and eventually inspiration struck. "The Artful Codgers!" I said brightly. Thwack came a flying lump of pottery clay from the other side of the room. It was time to reconsider.

"I've got it," I said. "Old Masters." This time it was only a paint brush that collided with my head. They all agreed I was onto something.

"Yes but......" came the objection. (There's always one, isn't there?) "Most of us here are women."

"Suit yourselves," I said. "Old Mistresses doesn't sound so good, though."

So that's me banned for the next six months.

BJ

You shouldn't've been dismissive of Old Mistresses. How could they have objected if you'd described it as an original new take on Old Masters, setting a new trend!

But old refers to historic age, not biological (not all Old Masters survived to old age, let alone did their work at granny-age). So perhaps that should be New Mistresses? Or New Old Master Mistresses? New Old Mistrasters?

Oo-er missus. I'll get me coat.

UncleEbenezer wrote: So perhaps that should be New Mistresses? Or New Old Master Mistresses? New Old Mistrasters?

Naah, it's been done. Grayson Perry's exhibition is going on just down the road in Bath.

BJ

Old fArts?

AleisterCrowley wrote:Old fArts?

Like it. The Farts and Crafts movement has a certain ring of authenticity to it, don't you think?

BJ

Indeed, although it's gradually dawning on me that I'm getting rather old myself, and a whole world of beige, tartan slippers (and matching thermos), and nice cups of tea in a National Trust cafe awaits.
On the plus side, I'm off to see Hawkwind again this summer, and the main man Dave Brock turns 79 in August...

AleisterCrowley wrote:Indeed, although it's gradually dawning on me that I'm getting rather old myself, and a whole world of beige, tartan slippers (and matching thermos), and nice cups of tea in a National Trust cafe awaits.

Oh, for god's sake, man, pull yourself together. Beige and slippers are for the already dead - or for those poor saddos who don't have the wit or gumption to pull themselves out of the sucking quagmire of what some poor saps are sadly content to call the autumn of their lives.

You go to heavy rock concerts. You have a higher testosterone/sperm count than any millennial you're ever likely to meet. (Although it's a bit sobering that our grandparents had at least twice as much sex as we ever did.) We've all been raised on sharp satire, instead of the Black and White Minstrels like our parents. We watch Have I Got News For You, and the more expletive deleteds, the better. We do rock a bit.

Hate to tell you this, but the average National Trust tea shop these days is full of sprightly young U3As ordering gin with their rocket salads. And wearing walking boots, and fitter and healthier than their forebears could ever have thought possible. (Or their doctors.) That's why they're going to live to be ninety. Maybe then they'll be ready to be called old. But I wouldn't bank on that either.

BJ

OK you've cheered me up. A bit.
It's Friday and nearly Beer O'Clock
let the good times roll...

UncleEbenezer wrote:You shouldn't've been dismissive of Old Mistresses. How could they have objected if you'd described it as an original new take on Old Masters, setting a new trend! But old refers to historic age, not biological (not all Old Masters survived to old age, let alone did their work at granny-age). So perhaps that should be New Mistresses? Or New Old Master Mistresses? New Old Mistrasters?

And wear a hard hat if you elaborate to "Old Mistresses - between Old Masters and Mattresses"