The Lemon Fool

Received this morning, an 80 page full colour brochure from a major national supplier of greenhouses. Probably 200 greenhouses in all, and most of them are available in four sizes. Hurry, hurry! 10% off! Treat yourselves to a fabulous new addition that will enrich your life and transform your family's enjoyment of your beautiful garden. Etcetera.

Sounds good. But how did they get my name and address? Because I bought a shiny new greenhouse from them four years ago, that's why. And very nice it is too, and oddly enough it hasn't fallen apart yet. So what are the chances of my wanting another one? Below zero. Che stupido.

BJ

Just trying to rationalise this ...

You're a happy customer. You probably have friends in a similar demographic: comparable house and garden but no greenhouse. Maybe even friends who have discussed/admired your greenhouse. How better to get the glossy in front of them than for you to make the connection?

UncleEbenezer wrote:Maybe even friends who have discussed/admired your greenhouse. How better to get the glossy in front of them than for you to make the connection?

And all I have to do is go round to their houses and shout through their letterboxes, cos I can't come in?

BJ

I receive a calendar from J & JW Longbottom.
Alas I shall have no further need of their excellent cast-iron guttering. Unless we move house.

Traditional products should be marketed by traditional means.
But it is odd in these online-obsessed days that some companies still send an expensive printed cat.

Demon Tweeks for example. I particularly appreciate that one as it is of a useful size for cleaning paint brushes, but I can't believe that it repays its cost.

On the whole I prefer products illustrated by pictures of scantily clad young ladies. I am not sure what I would need to buy to become a regular recipient, without my wife wondering what I have been doing.

V8

That sounds most traditional
'J & JW Longbottom - finest cast-iron guttering by Appointment to Her Majesty Queen Victoria'

AleisterCrowley wrote:That sounds most traditional
'J & JW Longbottom - finest cast-iron guttering by Appointment to Her Majesty Queen Victoria'

that explains it - she would have frowned on the scantily clad young ladies

TUK020 wrote:

AleisterCrowley wrote:'J & JW Longbottom - finest cast-iron guttering by Appointment to Her Majesty Queen Victoria'

that explains it - she would have frowned on the scantily clad young ladies

Oooh, I don't know, she was a bit of a raver in her early years. And didn't she buy a sub-porny painting for Albert? (https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/683cb9eb ... 1d54f9a079)

But then, I read recently that Queen Vic's own waistline extended to 52 inches, which would have been only six inches less than her height. Long bottom indeed.

BJ