The Lemon Fool

On thursday I ordered an item for delivery to my mum. Paid £5-95 for next day delivery. Shipped within hours and I got a tracking number.

01:00 on friday and the courier's website showed it was in transit from the courier's hub to the local depot. Fine.
19:10 on friday, and it was in transit from a different hub to the local depot. Confusing.

Since then, no activity

Looked at the courier's website and had great trouble finding out how to chase this up. Finally found an online chat facility.

Me: Where's my parcel?
Them: It's on the way to our depot
Me: I know that, but it's been like that for a couple of days, and it's late
Them: Please download our app for more detail
Me: I can see all of the transactions, I want to know where the parcel is and when it will be delivered
Them: It's on the way to our depot
Me: I would like to talk to somebody
Them: Our office is closed until 09:00

So, I was chatting to an AI system (though perhaps missing the I)

Found a phone number.
15 minute wait to get through, with "Your call is very important to us" every minute or so.
"Hello, can I help you?" click, beeeeeeep
Phone again, another 15 minute wait.
"Hello, can I help you?"
Me: Where's my parcel?
Them: Please download our app
Me: I don't need your app, I can see all of the tracking details on your website
Them: Oh, the internet isn't very good, our app is much better
Me: WHAT??? Your website isn't accurate?
Them: Oh, it's accurate, but our app is better
Me: Look, where's my parcel? I can see that the last transaction was 19:10 on friday
Them: Looks like it's lost. Please contact your supplier
Me: Why do I need to contact the supplier. You know you have the parcel. Can't you search it?
Them: We acknowledge receipt of the parcel from the supplier, we know we have lost it, but we can't do anything until the supplier contacts us. We can't take instructions from you

AAARRRGGGHH! At least they didn't blame it on the lorry driver shortage.
And the supplier is closed for the weekend.

To think, we pay for this "service"

--kiloran

Chat facilities and apps are hopeless, they all just spout robotic crip to you. Always speak to a person.

Anyway we had a similar problem with EQE last year and turns out the driver was involved in an accident, van had to be recovered, and a new a new van and driver deployed the following day. May be something like that.

I am steeling myself already for a call into the British Gas call center tomorrow ...

moorfield wrote:Anyway we had a similar problem with EQE last year and turns out the driver was involved in an accident, van had to be recovered, and a new a new van and driver deployed the following day. May be something like that.

Indeed. I am currently at daggers drawn with BT, who failed to send me an urgently needed broadband router by the promised date last week. When the stuff eventually arrived, the driver was very apologetic. The parcel had come apart after its flimsy cellophane wrapper had split, and they'd spent hours tracking down both parts of the parcel and reuniting them.

Another time, an Amazon case of wine was abruptly delayed, much to my chagrin. It turned out that one of the bottles had broken in the van, and that rather than delivering the remaining eleven to me on the day, they'd sent the whole consignment back to base so that it could be re-delivered the next day. Such is life.

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:Another time, an Amazon case of wine was abruptly delayed, much to my chagrin. It turned out that one of the bottles had broken in the van, and that rather than delivering the remaining eleven to me on the day, they'd sent the whole consignment back to base so that it could be re-delivered the next day. Such is life.

BJ

So what did you end up drinking at your dinner party?

Or are you making rather a lot of a one day delay?

UncleEbenezer wrote:So what did you end up drinking at your dinner party?

Or are you making rather a lot of a one day delay?

I'm making the same point as you, I think. It was no big deal, and indeed it turned out that the delivery service had behaved perfectly rationally in unusual circumstances.

So what did we drink with our pizza? Oh, I dragged up some Lafite Rothschild from the cellar. Really old stuff, 2000 I think? It would probably have gone off pretty soon anyway, so nothing lost.

BJ

I wrote this earlier this year...

We'll tell you we will deliver at 1000-1130.

We send a text at 1046 that you are the next customer
Our delivery tracking map shows our driver 12 minutes and a mile away.

By 1400 the parcel has not arrived
The tracking shows the driver still 12 minutes and a mile away.

At 1530 we send an email saying there is an issue but the parcel will definitely arrive today

At 2230 it has not arrived. The tracking app still shows it 12 minutes and a mile away.

The next day at 0820 we send an email saying the parcel will he delivered today.

The tracking app shows the parcel at the depot 30 miles away.

Another email says it will be with you between 1200-1330.

We text at 1300 saying you are next
The tracking app shows we are 8 minutes and 700 metres away.

No parcel arrives

At 1400 the tracking has no details on your parcel.

At 1500 the tracking now shows proof of delivery at 1310 with a photograph of somebody's blurred thumb holding a piece of paper.

There is no parcel.

You will now spend several days arguing over whether the parcel was delivered or not, to whom, where and when.

You contact the seller who points at the thumb and paper photo as proof of delivery.

You have argument with seller who eventually sends a replacement via another courier which somehow arrives.

18 months later your original parcel is delivered in a shocking state, by some random bloke from Belgium who is passing on holiday whose neighbour found the parcel in his waterbutt last year.

(C) ian Diddams 2021

Quite frankly, we have got little to complain about. Very very few of us need, as in must have, essential for life, to have a parcel delivered in three days from ordering, never mind within 24 hours. Is it any wonder that there is a shortage of drivers considering the number that I see everyday passing up and down my little street? Occasionally someone gets it wrong. So?

There used to be Royal Mail. End of. That is what they were for.

Dod

Dod101 wrote:There used to be Royal Mail. End of. That is what they were for.

Dod

End of? I thought RMG were still in business

TUK020 wrote:

Dod101 wrote:There used to be Royal Mail. End of. That is what they were for.

Dod

End of? I thought RMG were still in business

If it needs a reply I of course meant that Royal Mail was the delivery service and strange as it amy seem couriers were for important stuff in the City.

Dod