The Lemon Fool

MrFoolish wrote:

TUK020 wrote:The primary ingredient in WD40 is fish oil

Can vegetarians use WD40 ?

Only on meat-free products and then probably not on a barbecue.

RC

Most gypsies I've met have been violent criminals.

CliffEdge wrote:Most gypsies I've met have been violent criminals.

Really? And how have you gone about meeting these individuals? Are you a criminal lawyer, or policeman perhaps? Have you also met non-gypsy violent criminals?

dealtn wrote:

CliffEdge wrote:Most gypsies I've met have been violent criminals.

Really? And how have you gone about meeting these individuals? Are you a criminal lawyer, or policeman perhaps?

There is another more obvious option

pje16 wrote:

dealtn wrote:

CliffEdge wrote:Most gypsies I've met have been violent criminals.

Really? And how have you gone about meeting these individuals? Are you a criminal lawyer, or policeman perhaps?

There is another more obvious option

Which is?

He's one of them

It was a joke, not meant to offend

No offence taken.

Rhyd6 wrote:
Wonder of wonders a member of Her Majesty's Constabulary turned up today.

Unfortunately he was there to check grandson's firearms certificate.

Source - https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/0/matt-cartoons-august-2022/

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

Itsallaguess wrote:

Rhyd6 wrote:Wonder of wonders a member of Her Majesty's Constabulary turned up today.

Unfortunately he was there to check grandson's firearms certificate.

Source - https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/0/matt-cartoons-august-2022/

Funnily enough I once called the police because an intruder was working on my front garden at about midnight. He was replanting plants and irrigating various areas. He was more crazy and/or drugged up than dangerous but I wanted him gone.

The cops showed up after a while. Turned out that he had outstanding arrest warrants so they hauled him away. I had the garden restored by the end of the following day.

Observed by a neighbour around midnight, a couple of lit-up youths kicked over a short length of my garden's palisade fence, jumped in and fell headlong into my Pyracantha. The latter was little damaged; they somewhat more so as the day afterwards it became only too obvious to everyone in the village who they were.

Great job
I take they got the point

pje16 wrote:Great job
I take they got the point

I bet they felt complete p***ks!


Julian F. G. W.

Raises a relevant question: exactly how far can I go to protect my house and gardens?
As farmer Tony Martin found to his cost, you cannot just blast away at a burglar with a 12-bore pump-action shotgun.
If I arm my palisade fence with razor wire plugged into a 25kV supply, M' Lud might find it a mite OTT.
My Pyracantha is slightly less lethal but a faceful can easily blind. Pyracantha spines are vicious little things and surprisingly painful.
I also have 60 metres of hawthorn hedge.

Will an "Attention yobbos, drunks and burglars: Pyracantha can seriously damage your health" sign save me from prosecution or - as Tony Martin later found out - subsequent threats of persecution.

stewamax wrote:I also have 60 metres of hawthorn hedge.

Nature's bloody caltrops!

Shortly before leaving my first servo role I thought I'd finally give the commute a go on my push bike (Corstorphine to Dunfermline) rather than just to the train station. Some b****** had been trimming their hawthorn on the route home and left it strewn on the shared path - by the time I noticed it was sticking out of both wheels!
Thankfully they're proper sharp and pointy so the slime held for the last few miles home - but by gosh they could rip you

If you really want to get yobbos with your garden go with poison ivy - looks innocuous and the reaction is quite delayed so they'll have no idea where it came from.

-sd

I will vote for anyone who brings back the mantrap. As a nation we have gone soft; years of insidious wokeness.

It wasn’t that long ago that Edward Clinton, 5th Earl of Lincoln ordered his servants to beat a lad to death for gazing at him.
And the church was until recently a church militant: the Abbot of Crowland hanged a man for stealing sixteen eggs and was cautioned only because the theft occurred outside his jurisdiction.

George, Lord Chief Justice Jeffreys (he of the Bloody Assizes) and Eton Headmaster John Keate (he who flogged at least eighty boys on 30 June 1832) need more prominent memorials.

Woof.
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

stewamax wrote:It wasn’t that long ago that Edward Clinton, 5th Earl of Lincoln ordered his servants to beat a lad to death for gazing at him.

Ermmm he died in 1361

pje16 wrote:

stewamax wrote:It wasn’t that long ago that Edward Clinton, 5th Earl of Lincoln ordered his servants to beat a lad to death for gazing at him.

Ermmm he died in 1361

And he sounds like a bit of an overly sensitive snowflake prick

pje16 wrote:

stewamax wrote:It wasn’t that long ago that Edward Clinton, 5th Earl of Lincoln ordered his servants to beat a lad to death for gazing at him.

Ermmm he died in 1361

Ermmm the one who died in 1361 was Henry, the first earl of the fifth creation. The egregious Edward Clinton was the fifth Earl of the eighth creation - known as the Fat Earl of Lincoln. Perhaps the poor lad was gazing at the Noble Earl's paunch and wondering idly how much venison and turtle were needed to sustain it.

* presumably not to his face, barring a masochistic wish to road-test an oubliette or play The Rack game

Still 1572 is too long ago to be considered recent