The Lemon Fool

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Amazon recently carried out a UK-wide vote, asking readers for their favourite opening lines of a book.

Here's the top 25 results -

1. 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.' A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens - 29%

2. 'It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.' 1984 by George Orwell - 24%

3. 'All children, except one, grow up.' Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie - 22%

4. 'In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.' The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien - 22%

5. 'Mr and Mrs Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.' Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K Rowling - 22%

6. 'It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.' Matilda by Roald Dahl - 21%

7. 'Thursday January 1st BANK HOLIDAY IN ENGLAND, IRELAND, SCOTLAND AND WALES These are my New Year's resolutions:

I will help the blind across the road

I will hang my trousers up

I will put the sleeves back on my records

I will not start smoking

I will stop squeezing my spots

I will be kind to the dog

I will help the poor and ignorant

After hearing the disgusting noises from downstairs last night, I have also vowed never to drink alcohol.' Adrian Mole by Sue Townsend - 17%

8. 'I'm pretty much f**ked.' The Martian by Andy Weir - 16%

9. 'Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy…' The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis - 16%

10. 'James Bond, with two double bourbons inside him, sat in the final departure lounge of Miami airport and thought about death.' Goldfinger by Ian Fleming - 16%

11. 'My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973.' The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold - 15%

12. 'When I think of my wife, I always think of the back of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brain, trying to get answers.' Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn - 15%

13. 'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.' Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - 15%

14. 'If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.' Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger - 13%

15. 'Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small, unregarded yellow sun.' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - 12%

16. 'January: An Exceptionally Bad Start. Sunday 1 January. 129 lbs (but post-Christmas), alcohol units 14 (but effectively covers 2 days as 4 hours of party was on New Year), cigarettes 22, calories 5424.' Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding - 12%

17. 'As I sit here with one foot on either side of the ledge, looking down from twelve stories above the streets of Boston, I can't help but think about suicide.' It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover - 12%

18. 'Call me Ishmael.' Moby-Dick by Herman Melville - 11%

19. 'I am always drawn back to places where I have lived, the houses and their neighborhoods.' Breakfast at Tiffanys by Truman Capote - 11%

20. 'When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold.' The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins - 11%

21. 'If you want to find Cherry-Tree Lane all you have to do is ask the Policeman at the cross-roads.' Mary Poppins by PL Travers - 11%

22. 'All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.' Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy - 11%

23. 'You better not never tell nobody but God.' The Color Purple by Alice Walker - 10%

24. 'If you're going to read this, don't bother.' Choke by Chuck Palahniuk - 10%

25. 'I am an invisible man.' Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison - 9%

More on this story here -

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12563537/Charles-Dickens-Tale-Two-Cities-Britains-favourite-start-novel.html

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/09/26/jk-rowling-harry-potter-opening-line-voted-greatest-ever/


One of my favourite lines from a book doesn't come from the opening page -

“But at times I wondered if I had not come a long way only to find that what I really sought was something I had left behind.”

― Thomas F. Hornbein, Everest: The West Ridge

It's surprising how often that line pops into my head as I get older...

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

Excellent IAAG. Brought back a lot of memories. 'Call me Ishmael' not so much for these words, but for the story that follows, is probably my favourite.

Jane Austin's, for the beautiful writing and philosophy of life, comes a close second.

Dod

Dod101 wrote:Excellent IAAG. Brought back a lot of memories. 'Call me Ishmael' not so much for these words, but for the story that follows, is probably my favourite.
Dod

Believe it or not Dod, I was going to say "Call me Ishmael" from Moby Dick.

A couple of my favourites.

“It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me” - Earthly Powers, Anthony Burgess

“It was the day my grandmother exploded” -The Crow Road , Iain Banks

“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.” from Rebecca. Hard to separate whether it's a nice line, or just the start of a great book.

doug2500 wrote:“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.” from Rebecca. Hard to separate whether it's a nice line, or just the start of a great book.

That's my favourite opening line too, so I'm disappointed that it didn't feature in Amazon's top 25.

Watis

gvonge wrote:A couple of my favourites.

“It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me” - Earthly Powers, Anthony Burgess

“It was the day my grandmother exploded” -The Crow Road , Iain Banks

I was about to post that Crow Road quote also
- in my mind it stands as a great opening line, per se, rather than just the opening to a great book (which, if I'm being honest, I think applies to a few on the list)

In a similar vein, check out The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for a glorious collection of entirely made-up book opening lines.

A couple of examples:

It was a dark and stormy night and, having only cans of chili, corn, and sauerkraut in my meager larder, I mixed my supper, knowing that if the electricity went out I, at least, would have gas.

The aged doctor, having spent over sixty years practicing in the combined fields of optometry and proctology, was widely considered the world’s first and only proctometrist, a title he had relinquished begrudgingly, for although his jealous peers derided his accomplishments, only the physician’s failing vision had forced him into an early retirement though his hindsight would remain 20/20.

A lot of good opening lines to great books, and Vice Versa.

I have to agree The Crow Road takes some beating as a scene setter. But I think that's what a good opening line should do, define something, get you interested.

"'There was once a boy called Milo who didn't know what to do with himself – not just sometimes but always."

“It was seven minutes after midnight. The dog was lying on the grass in the middle of the lawn in front of Mrs Shears’ house. Its eyes were closed.”

“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.”

Paul

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

I'm puzzled by the percentages. They add up to a whole lot more than 100.

Mike4 wrote:I'm puzzled by the percentages. They add up to a whole lot more than 100.

I don't remember that one but it sounds interesting - who was the author?

servodude wrote:

Mike4 wrote:I'm puzzled by the percentages. They add up to a whole lot more than 100.

I don't remember that one but it sounds interesting - who was the author?

Fermat?

Fog.

(Bleak House).

Some great lines there. Others ... erm ... less so. And inexplicable omissions: Du Maurier has already been mentioned here!

I guess the scope is limited to novels, else we'd have some great candidates from, for example, theatre and poetry - e.g. many of Shakespeare's plays.

UncleEbenezer wrote:Fog.

(Bleak House).

Some great lines there. Others ... erm ... less so. And inexplicable omissions: Du Maurier has already been mentioned here!

I guess the scope is limited to novels, else we'd have some great candidates from, for example, theatre and poetry - e.g. many of Shakespeare's plays.

In a bizarre coincidence, I am the poster who mentioned Du Maurier's 'Rebecca' - and am currently reading 'Bleak House'!

Watis

UncleEbenezer wrote:Fog.

(Bleak House).

Some great lines there. Others ... erm ... less so. And inexplicable omissions: Du Maurier has already been mentioned here!

I guess the scope is limited to novels, else we'd have some great candidates from, for example, theatre and poetry - e.g. many of Shakespeare's plays.

Yes, Richard III springs to mind,

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York,"

UncleEbenezer wrote:Fog.

(Bleak House).

Some great lines there. Others ... erm ... less so. And inexplicable omissions: Du Maurier has already been mentioned here!

I guess the scope is limited to novels, else we'd have some great candidates from, for example, theatre and poetry - e.g. many of Shakespeare's plays.

Of course the Fog is more paragraph 2, the opening,

"Michaelmas Term lately over, and the Lord Chancellor sitting in Lincoln�s Inn Hall. Implacable November weather. As much mud in the streets as if the waters had but newly retired from the face of the earth, and it would not be wonderful to meet a Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so, waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill. Smoke lowering down from chimney-pots, making a soft black drizzle, with flakes of soot in it as big as full-grown snow-flakes � gone into mourning, one might imagine, for the death of the sun. Dogs, undistinguishable in mire. Horses, scarcely better; splashed to their very blinkers. Foot passengers, jostling one another�s umbrellas in a general infection of ill-temper, and losing their foot-hold at street-corners, where tens of thousands of other foot passengers have been slipping and sliding since the day broke (if the day ever broke), adding new deposits to the crust upon crust of mud, sticking at those points tenaciously to the pavement, and accumulating at compound interest."

UncleEbenezer wrote:Fog.

(Bleak House).

Some great lines there. Others ... erm ... less so. And inexplicable omissions: Du Maurier has already been mentioned here!

I guess the scope is limited to novels, else we'd have some great candidates from, for example, theatre and poetry - e.g. many of Shakespeare's plays.

If Poetry permitted I would put in a strong vote for John Donne and the Metaphysical Poets generally

For God’s sake hold your tongue, and let me love,
Or chide my palsy, or my gout,
My five gray hairs, or ruined fortune flout,
With wealth your state, your mind with arts improve,
Take you a course, get you a place,
Observe his honour, or his grace,
Or the king’s real, or his stampèd face
Contemplate; what you will, approve,
So you will let me love …

OR

Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is;
It sucked me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be;
Thou know’st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead,
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pampered swells with one blood made of two,
And this, alas, is more than we would do.

OR

Busy old fool, unruly sun,
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains call on us?
Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run?
Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide
Late school boys and sour prentices,
Go tell court huntsmen that the king will ride,
Call country ants to harvest offices,
Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

Charlottesquare wrote:

UncleEbenezer wrote:Fog.

(Bleak House).

Some great lines there. Others ... erm ... less so. And inexplicable omissions: Du Maurier has already been mentioned here!

I guess the scope is limited to novels, else we'd have some great candidates from, for example, theatre and poetry - e.g. many of Shakespeare's plays.

If Poetry permitted I would put in a strong vote for John Donne and the Metaphysical Poets generally

For God’s sake hold your tongue, and let me love,
Or chide my palsy, or my gout,
My five gray hairs, or ruined fortune flout,
With wealth your state, your mind with arts improve,
Take you a course, get you a place,
Observe his honour, or his grace,
Or the king’s real, or his stampèd face
Contemplate; what you will, approve,
So you will let me love …

OR

Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is;
It sucked me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be;
Thou know’st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead,
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pampered swells with one blood made of two,
And this, alas, is more than we would do.

OR

Busy old fool, unruly sun,
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains call on us?
Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run?
Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide
Late school boys and sour prentices,
Go tell court huntsmen that the king will ride,
Call country ants to harvest offices,
Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

Yes but it is the best opening line we are discussing.

Dod

Dod101 wrote:

Charlottesquare wrote:
If Poetry permitted I would put in a strong vote for John Donne and the Metaphysical Poets generally

For God’s sake hold your tongue, and let me love,
Or chide my palsy, or my gout,
My five gray hairs, or ruined fortune flout,
With wealth your state, your mind with arts improve,
Take you a course, get you a place,
Observe his honour, or his grace,
Or the king’s real, or his stampèd face
Contemplate; what you will, approve,
So you will let me love …

OR

Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is;
It sucked me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be;
Thou know’st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead,
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pampered swells with one blood made of two,
And this, alas, is more than we would do.

OR

Busy old fool, unruly sun,
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains call on us?
Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run?
Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide
Late school boys and sour prentices,
Go tell court huntsmen that the king will ride,
Call country ants to harvest offices,
Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

Yes but it is the best opening line we are discussing.

Dod

Think it works with just the opening lines of any of the three poems, but poetry is often tricky if viewed from the perspective of a single line, it tends to need context.

For God’s sake hold your tongue, and let me love,
OR
Busy old fool, unruly sun,
OR
Mark but this flea, and mark in this,