Re: The Meaning of Death
Posted: March 14th, 2021, 9:54 pm
Hi all, I have been reincarnated from beeswax who used to post a lot on these boards two or three years ago and it could be longer. I was thrown off at the time by the moderators and sorry but can't remember why now. I think I insulted one and so deserved it. I used to post frequently on this board and the polite discussions and rarely on the others. I don't visit this site very often, maybe once or twice a year? But this topic has gained my interest on the sanctity of life and whether we should have assisted dying and how can people with severe dementia give consent etc and life of relatives in care homes etc. I hope the Mods allow me to come back.
I am 77 almost now and believe in God actually but I am an ex Christian so to speak but due to some experiences in my life where I believed there was some kind of divine intervention cannot bring myself to become an atheist but also believe that no one religious faith has a monopoly on God as to me is he the God of the Universe and everyone and every living thing but that is nothing to do with assisted dying and so don't believe in the God given 'sanctity of life' idea that is promulgated by most religious people.
I think we should be able to choose our own time of death by assisted dying but the UK law does not allow it but they can't stop you using a stanly knife to cut ones wrists and then go to bed and that is assisted dying by other means and that is a choice we all have if we are mentally aware of the situation but what about our loved ones with dementia? How can they decide? The fact is they can't! My late MIL was very fortunate. She lived to get to ninety nine and three quarters and was three months short of a telegram from the Queen but she would not have known that or anything else as she went into a care home for her last four years, despite her always saying "Never put me in one".
We had no alternative, the dementia started some years before but she managed to get by with lots of help from me and my wife but she started to be a danger to herself and used to fall down. She used to light candles thinking it was WW2 and the blackout etc and couldn't get up by herself and we used to visit her every day when she lived at her home and indeed every day she went into a care home which was two separate care home as the first one could no longer look after her needs. I have had experience of four care home as I used to sing to them and play music from their eras and try and make them laugh and carried on doing that after she passed away two and a half years ago. The Pandemic stopped all that obviously. Most of the residents in the care homes I saw were mentally and severely disabled and probably 80% with severe dementia like my MIL. They were taken to lounges where the TV was left on the whole time but nobody was watching it and they were either asleep or staring into space. These are NOT places were we want to end our days. I have to say that the carers do a wonderful job on the minimum wage and it annoys me that NHS nurses on 34 grand a year complain they are underpaid and they don't have half the horrible stuff these carers have to do each and every day. If only they could get the same as NHS staff.
So where are we with assisted death in this scenario?
I tell you the truth, its unusual to say but I loved my MIL because I knew her since I was 15 years of age before I married her daughter who is 73 now and she was more of a mother to me far more than my own maternal mother ever was and why we spent so much time with her, especially when she needed us. I saw a lovely great looking woman go down hill mentality especially in her last couple of years and you may not believe me when I say that I would have assisted her to die at any time during that period knowing that we love her and didn't want her to suffer what she was clearly going through but she could not articulate it.
She died in bed in the care home on our 50th wedding anniversary and she was a life long Christian too. She used to say during her early years of her dementia, '"What are they making us live like this"...We shouldn't imv!
Just my perspective on this. I just don't want others to choose the time of my death and I reject them trying to use the law of the land to stop it. But Mr Stanley is always there to help out if they try to...There can be enough safeguards to ensure its not done willy nilly and it becomes the thin end of a big wedge. I can say this finally, Money for her care was never an issue for us. I cannot speak for everyone else though but through my eyes, most relatives who visited their loved ones, it wasn't an issue either.
ATB,
Mike aka beeswax.
I am 77 almost now and believe in God actually but I am an ex Christian so to speak but due to some experiences in my life where I believed there was some kind of divine intervention cannot bring myself to become an atheist but also believe that no one religious faith has a monopoly on God as to me is he the God of the Universe and everyone and every living thing but that is nothing to do with assisted dying and so don't believe in the God given 'sanctity of life' idea that is promulgated by most religious people.
I think we should be able to choose our own time of death by assisted dying but the UK law does not allow it but they can't stop you using a stanly knife to cut ones wrists and then go to bed and that is assisted dying by other means and that is a choice we all have if we are mentally aware of the situation but what about our loved ones with dementia? How can they decide? The fact is they can't! My late MIL was very fortunate. She lived to get to ninety nine and three quarters and was three months short of a telegram from the Queen but she would not have known that or anything else as she went into a care home for her last four years, despite her always saying "Never put me in one".
We had no alternative, the dementia started some years before but she managed to get by with lots of help from me and my wife but she started to be a danger to herself and used to fall down. She used to light candles thinking it was WW2 and the blackout etc and couldn't get up by herself and we used to visit her every day when she lived at her home and indeed every day she went into a care home which was two separate care home as the first one could no longer look after her needs. I have had experience of four care home as I used to sing to them and play music from their eras and try and make them laugh and carried on doing that after she passed away two and a half years ago. The Pandemic stopped all that obviously. Most of the residents in the care homes I saw were mentally and severely disabled and probably 80% with severe dementia like my MIL. They were taken to lounges where the TV was left on the whole time but nobody was watching it and they were either asleep or staring into space. These are NOT places were we want to end our days. I have to say that the carers do a wonderful job on the minimum wage and it annoys me that NHS nurses on 34 grand a year complain they are underpaid and they don't have half the horrible stuff these carers have to do each and every day. If only they could get the same as NHS staff.
So where are we with assisted death in this scenario?
I tell you the truth, its unusual to say but I loved my MIL because I knew her since I was 15 years of age before I married her daughter who is 73 now and she was more of a mother to me far more than my own maternal mother ever was and why we spent so much time with her, especially when she needed us. I saw a lovely great looking woman go down hill mentality especially in her last couple of years and you may not believe me when I say that I would have assisted her to die at any time during that period knowing that we love her and didn't want her to suffer what she was clearly going through but she could not articulate it.
She died in bed in the care home on our 50th wedding anniversary and she was a life long Christian too. She used to say during her early years of her dementia, '"What are they making us live like this"...We shouldn't imv!
Just my perspective on this. I just don't want others to choose the time of my death and I reject them trying to use the law of the land to stop it. But Mr Stanley is always there to help out if they try to...There can be enough safeguards to ensure its not done willy nilly and it becomes the thin end of a big wedge. I can say this finally, Money for her care was never an issue for us. I cannot speak for everyone else though but through my eyes, most relatives who visited their loved ones, it wasn't an issue either.
ATB,
Mike aka beeswax.