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Bottoms

Fitness tips, Relaxation, Mind and Body
bungeejumper
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Bottoms

#285584

Postby bungeejumper » February 20th, 2020, 9:34 am

There, I've said it. Total admiration to Julie Walters for going public about her stage three bowel cancer, which has now been fixed through a combination of chemo and surgery. Mine was just at stage one, although they spent a few months wondering whether it had reached stage two? (It hadn't.) Stage four is the one you really don't want, but Ms Walters's stage three is scary stuff too. She's done amazingly well. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-51558450

It's really good that public figures like Rod Stewart are coming out into the open about cancers in their various unmentionables, and the sooner they become mentionables, the better, because so many of them are so easily fixable. Bowel cancer is Britain's number four cancer killer (third worst in America, second worst in Australia), but cure rates are above 90% if they're found early, like mine was. (Somewhat less than that for stages three and four.)

But first we've got to get past the embarrassment stage. When I was called in for an initial endoscopy two years ago (after a routine poo test, you know the one ;) ), I was squirming at the supposed indignity. On the one hand it was a comfort to know that only one in sixteen of these tests finds a cancer - the rest find piles or IBS or benign polyps or diverticulitis; but against that was the knowledge that one in four people who get invited for endoscopy say they won't attend. They mutter things about how they'd "rather not know", or maybe they think "God will call them when he's ready". But a lot of it is embarrassment. And that's a tragedy.

As Ms Walters says, everyone's got a bottom, and everyone knows what it does, and it's time we got over ourselves and started avoiding the subject. FWIW, I've had six of the video endoscopy procedures on the NHS now, and I haven't ever felt been made to feel embarrassed - because although these people are professionals who do bottoms all day, they are also acutely aware of their patients's sensibilities. Nor is it particularly uncomfortable, especially if you accept the sedatives they offer you, and many people don't remember anything much of the procedure afterwards. (Although a nurse did once have to chase me up the corridor, in my doped-up state, with my backside hanging out of my backless strapless gown :lol: )

Is it messy? Nope, they get you squeaky clean from end to end by supplying half a gallon of an industrial drain cleaner. Do you fart? yes you do, but mainly because they pump you up with air so as to improve the camera's view of the proceedings. There ain't nothing that they haven't seen before, including all the jokes, but they still laugh, bless 'em.

Anyway, it ain't worth dying for. Let's get it out there that early diagnosis can fix this one. Don't let anybody you know be too scared to get checked out. Pass it on.

BJ

Loup321
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Re: Bottoms

#287189

Postby Loup321 » February 27th, 2020, 4:39 pm

Yes, well said.

I recently went for my routine smear test, and had a similar discussion with the nurse about low rates of uptake. Given the indignity we go through in childbirth, with numerous people all having a chat around our "bits" for an hour or two, the minute or so the nurse (on her own and without commenting to all and sundry) is collecting the sample for the smear test is nothing. I think I've got more used to it with age, but with anything medical I've always made myself get past the embarrassment so if anything is wrong it can be fixed more easily if it's found early.

Having said all that, the discomfort my partner went through the night before his endoscopy seemed pretty dreadful. I'm glad I haven't needed one yet (touches wood).

bungeejumper
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Re: Bottoms

#287228

Postby bungeejumper » February 27th, 2020, 7:02 pm

Loup321 wrote:Having said all that, the discomfort my partner went through the night before his endoscopy seemed pretty dreadful. I'm glad I haven't needed one yet (touches wood).

Ah yes, the dreaded Movi Prep. Some people say it's worse than the procedure itself, although I've never found it to be particularly bad anyway. That's because I was very well advised (a) to dose the foul brew with a goodly shot of lime juice, which makes it tolerable, and (b) to invest in a small tub of Sudocrem, which soothes your sore sphincter like nothing else after nearly a gallon of you know what has passed through it, often at storm force. Hey, I didn't call it an industrial drain cleaner for nothing. :lol:

The whole endoscopy experience seems to be far more common in the United States, where people actually undergo it voluntarily. And where blog posters insist that their doctors have informally okayed the odd glass of beer, even though they're "supposed to be" keeping their systems free of nutrients until the examination is over.

Apart from that, it comes down to the physical logistics of getting yourself to the hospital at the very last hour with a potentially explosive rear end. :shock: You could call a taxi, of course, but you wouldn't want to risk ruining his seats :lol: , so you bum a lift (no, perhaps not the right word?) from somebody you know really well such as your better half. And who will thank you for putting a bin liner on the seat in case of any embarrassments. (Score card, 6 journeys to date, 0 embarrassments). And who will drive you home afterwards, cos you're not fit to drive for two days after the sedation.

From there on, it's down to the excellence of the hospital staff on the bum shift. I have never met a nicer bunch of people, or a team that seemed to be enjoying their teamwork so much. And dammit, they've saved me from something very nasty by keeping their attention up and their eyes open. I'm due in a couple of weeks for my next follow-up MRI, and a few months later for my next routine video session. I tell you, Netflix has nothing to fear from my movies. ;)

BJ


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