Spending Block

[Cookie]

My income increased dramatically when I started contracting but I continued to spend the same as before and my saving increased. I have enough money to buy things and would not be in debt
I struggle to take time off work as it is unpaid time and I compare what I could earn
I am often happy with things as long as they are still functional and rarely replace things until they stop working
Example would be a mobile phone, kitchen, bathroom, car etc
Saving money has become an obsession and it can effect negatively effect an experience as I look for a voucher or bargain or search for the cheapest price
I have read this might be money dysmorphia
I wondered if anyone else has experienced this and how they overcome it?

[Itsallaguess]

I wondered if anyone else has experienced this and how they overcome it?

I do sympathise. I find it a lot easier to treat others than I do myself, so it's not so much about the spending, but just often having difficulty spending much on me...I'm trying hard to change that as I get older and continue to ask life's difficult questions..

What you might be describing though, is just a rather extreme version of 'Living within your means', and I expect that this website is chock full of people who are in the same club, but perhaps with a wide spectrum of implementation...

I've long suspected, because I've asked this question of myself, that many people in similar situations might have a really late 'Damascene conversion', with huge enlightenment on this topic very late in the day, and then perhaps regret not treating themselves better whilst they had the chance to enjoy it, so it's probably good that you're asking this question, and that you're asking it now..

Don't leave it too late to treat yourself well if you can afford to.....who else is it all for?

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

[ReformedCharacter]

I'm a little like that myself, perhaps it's a form of meanness to oneself. It reminds me of a story about a mean person who went to see a Zen master. The Zen master held out his hand straight and open and said 'What would you say if my hand was stuck like this?' 'I would say that you were deformed' said the mean man. The Zen master then held out his hand as a clenched fist and said 'And what would you say if my hand was stuck like this?'

RC

[redsturgeon]

I think the key to this is to do what makes you truly happy.

If that is not spending money but you are happy then so be it.

If spending more money would make you unhappy then why would you do that?

The question is, what are you going to do with all this money you are saving?

John

[Cookie]

I think the key to this is to do what makes you truly happy.

If that is not spending money but you are happy then so be it.

If spending more money would make you unhappy then why would you do that?

The question is, what are you going to do with all this money you are saving?

John

I have got good at making and saving money and that gave me a feeling of achievement

But I feel I could have got a feeling of happiness by converting it into something that made me happy

I am not sure what that is yet, I am not sure where to start in finding out what that is I guess as well

[Itsallaguess]

I have got good at making and saving money and that gave me a feeling of achievement

But I feel I could have got a feeling of happiness by converting it into something that made me happy

I am not sure what that is yet, I am not sure where to start in finding out what that is I guess as well

If tomorrow were normally a 'work-day', but for whatever reason you were not going to be working, what would you feel most concerned about -

1. The potential loss of earnings for the day

2. What to do with your day if you're not going to be working

Cheers,

Itsallaguess

[kiloran]

I have got good at making and saving money and that gave me a feeling of achievement

But I feel I could have got a feeling of happiness by converting it into something that made me happy

I am not sure what that is yet, I am not sure where to start in finding out what that is I guess as well

If you really want to put your money to use, but don't feel that you want/need to spend it on something for yourself, you could try spending it on others. Maybe a family member like supporting someone at school or university, maybe a charity (especially a very local charity like a hospice). Helping others and making a difference to their lives is a certain way to make you happy.

--kiloran

[bungeejumper]

If tomorrow were normally a 'work-day', but for whatever reason you were not going to be working, what would you feel most concerned about -

1. The potential loss of earnings for the day

2. What to do with your day if you're not going to be working

What a fine question! Gets right to the heart of it.

You could spend the rest of your life in expensive psychoanalysis about exactly what it is that's driving you to build up this money pile, or you could save the shrink's fees and work it out yourself. I suppose it could always be something physical in your brain, but I'm much more inclined to think it's a response to something else that isn't going right (or hasn't gone) in your life. (Apologies, my wife is a psychotherapist, so this is home territory.) Somewhere along the line, it's in you to deny yourself the rewards for your work. A bit like an anorexic, although not quite the same. So is that tightness an urge against yourself, or against somebody else? Or are you just "saving up for another life"? I could understand that.

The most successful people in self-employment are often the really driven ones. When I was made redundant, back in the early 1980s, my four horrible months on the dole lit a fire behind my backside that kept me over-working and over-earning for 15 tp 20 years before I eventually managed to take my foot off the throttle a little bit. By that time, I was being described as over-active and just a little bit intimidating. By my clients!

Having been brought up during the food rationing years, I had some primal thing nagging away at me, and I absolutely didn't like "wasting" money. I did, however, insist on spending out on anything that would make me feel good while I was working. Fancy chairs and equipment, new cars, expensive books, whatever it took. Eventually, the fire behind my bum started to ease a bit and I was able to pour the cash pile into an old house that needed total refurbishment. Haven't looked back. The past seems like a kind of insanity now, but heck, at least it left me in pocket. Hope you get the balance sorted soon, or at least sooner than I did.

[jackdaww]

until quite recently , i scrimped and saved.

then i realised there was little point in being the richest graveyard inhabitant .

i still dont spend just for the sake of it, and i run a modest car because its adequate .

my touring caravan cost £800 but its actually better for me than many costing £30k plus.

i have never like posh meals out , quite happy with wetherspoons steak and chips.

travel we do like , but its getting a bit beyond us now.

i recommend spending a bit more while you have the health .



,

[AleisterCrowley]

I don't spend much money.
I think a lot of it is down to spending several years unemployed between college (Polytechnic!) and proper work. I can still remember what it felt like to be unable to travel to visit friends, or to be in the pub unable to afford a second pint, making one last. Or trying to buy birthday presents from benefits payments. When I started my first proper job in London in '93 I vowed I'd never be that poor again and would always have enough of a buffer to get me through any unemployed spells. Ironically, this hyper-cautious debt-averse attitude meant I didn't buy a place in London when it was possible (I was thinking about it in '95) - and the gains on that flat in Ealing would have dwarfed my savings to date.
Oh well, you gotta larf
I'm so used to saving now I don't enjoy buying stuff. I could, for example, get a really good guitar, but my inner voice tells me my old Squier Strat is 'good enough' and a new Charvel would be wasteful
Oddly I'm quite blase about losing money on shares. £2.5k Carillion up in smoke? Oh well, stuff happens. But no way I'd pay £2.5k for a dream holiday.

I have a horrible feeling I'm going to spend a retirement full of regrets, kicking myself for all the missed opportunities due to my 'sensible' over-cautious approach to money, and life in general. Never traveled much, never married, no kids, no house...but I have a reasonably large, and effectively meaningless, number in the 'net worth' box on my spreadsheet. My sister (antithesis of me) is going to be quite well off when I pop my clogs

[kempiejon]

I am often happy with things as long as they are still functional and rarely replace things until they stop working
Example would be a mobile phone, kitchen, bathroom, car etc
Saving money has become an obsession and it can effect negatively effect an experience as I look for a voucher or bargain or search for the cheapest price
I have read this might be money dysmorphia
I wondered if anyone else has experienced this and how they overcome it?

You're probably fine but - you replace things? When they stop working! Fix them, make do without them, make your own or recycle someone else's. When the starter motor on my car packed up I always parked on slope so I could self bump start. My mobile phone is a Nokia 3109e circa 2001. When my shoes wear through I stick on replacement soles, in fact I usually add replacement soles to new shoes and add a 2nd set of replacement soles when they wear through. Tomorrow I'm off to collect some decking boards from the skip up the road to make some raised beds in my garden.
Who would buy without a voucher having shopped around for the best price and haggled or seen if they could find one second hand.
I do like to spend money on socialising, experiences, activities, memories just not so much on things.

[GrahamPlatt]

Still getting your water out of the well?

[kempiejon]

Still getting your water out of the well?

rainwater harvesting.