Impending Divorce for a Female Friend: Thoughts Please.

[bulltraderpt]

Hello all,

Situation:

A friend of mine is in the process of getting divorced, she has two school aged children and, by all accounts when the house is sold there will be little, if any, cash after husband ran up debts it appears upon the property.

Unfortunately she isn't computer savvy, but are there websites out there please which would show what she might be entitled to when the divorce is finalised?

She has a job, but not a greatly paid one, so even if rent is covered, not sure anything else would be available to live on, so I am wondering does the state provide any kind of assistance?

BTW she has never claimed before and this was a long marriage, so we aren't talking about a teenager here.

Thanks in advance for any helpful advice.

[bungeejumper]

There are wiser heads than mine on this forum, so I'll just say that I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's situation. Without knowing anything about the 'temperature' of the divorce, simply having two kids and a modest income means that she's probably going to need professional help just to deal with the short-term day-to-day.

That would have been the case even if the husband hadn't (as it seems?) been financially irresponsible. But the experiences of several friends (and of my girlfriend, now my wife) suggest that even the most benign of separations can run into quite severe acrimony if there are debts in the picture. CAB and legal aid (https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/overview) would be two places to start. There are so many more sources out there, but what she really needs is a face-to-face with a solicitor.

BJ

[bulltraderpt]

There are wiser heads than mine on this forum, so I'll just say that I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's situation. Without knowing anything about the 'temperature' of the divorce, simply having two kids and a modest income means that she's probably going to need professional help just to deal with the short-term day-to-day.

That would have been the case even if the husband hadn't (as it seems?) been financially irresponsible. But the experiences of several friends (and of my girlfriend, now my wife) suggest that even the most benign of separations can run into quite severe acrimony if there are debts in the picture. CAB and legal aid (https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/overview) would be two places to start. There are so many more sources out there, but what she really needs is a face-to-face with a solicitor.

BJ

Thanks for that, yes I know she was going to see a solicitor a week or so ago and I shall be meeting her for a catch up soon. The husband was the one in charge of the cash, (some relationships are like that i.e. one deals with it without input or knowledge of other stuff), so I suspect (knowing him), there could be more debt which will come out in the wash.

[melonfool]

There are wiser heads than mine on this forum, so I'll just say that I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's situation. Without knowing anything about the 'temperature' of the divorce, simply having two kids and a modest income means that she's probably going to need professional help just to deal with the short-term day-to-day.

That would have been the case even if the husband hadn't (as it seems?) been financially irresponsible. But the experiences of several friends (and of my girlfriend, now my wife) suggest that even the most benign of separations can run into quite severe acrimony if there are debts in the picture. CAB and legal aid (https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/overview) would be two places to start. There are so many more sources out there, but what she really needs is a face-to-face with a solicitor.

BJ

Thanks for that, yes I know she was going to see a solicitor a week or so ago and I shall be meeting her for a catch up soon. The husband was the one in charge of the cash, (some relationships are like that i.e. one deals with it without input or knowledge of other stuff), so I suspect (knowing him), there could be more debt which will come out in the wash.

There is no legal aid for divorce cases (unless there has been abuse).

The 'go-to' place to find out about benefits is CAB and/or: https://www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-c ... tcalc.aspx

She should at the very least be getting (already) child benefit, check that she is.

If ex has moved out, even only for a short time, check she has reduced her council tax by the 25% discount for single adult.

Mel

[bulltraderpt]

There are wiser heads than mine on this forum, so I'll just say that I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's situation. Without knowing anything about the 'temperature' of the divorce, simply having two kids and a modest income means that she's probably going to need professional help just to deal with the short-term day-to-day.

That would have been the case even if the husband hadn't (as it seems?) been financially irresponsible. But the experiences of several friends (and of my girlfriend, now my wife) suggest that even the most benign of separations can run into quite severe acrimony if there are debts in the picture. CAB and legal aid (https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/overview) would be two places to start. There are so many more sources out there, but what she really needs is a face-to-face with a solicitor.

BJ

Thanks for that, yes I know she was going to see a solicitor a week or so ago and I shall be meeting her for a catch up soon. The husband was the one in charge of the cash, (some relationships are like that i.e. one deals with it without input or knowledge of other stuff), so I suspect (knowing him), there could be more debt which will come out in the wash.

There is no legal aid for divorce cases (unless there has been abuse).

The 'go-to' place to find out about benefits is CAB and/or: https://www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-c ... tcalc.aspx

She should at the very least be getting (already) child benefit, check that she is.

If ex has moved out, even only for a short time, check she has reduced her council tax by the 25% discount for single adult.

Mel

Hi Mel,

Had a nice tea with her today she seems to have a good team around her and I've learned some shocking home truths about the waste of space of a husband, unbeknown to me until today, there has been abuse, Police, legal etc are all involved. Hopefully they will throw the book at him.

Thanks for your help.

[LadyGagarin]

From the information provided, your friend may be invited to various benefits and/or tax credits. A useful place to start is http://www.entitledto.co.uk

[patrickmacqueen]

For free legal advice your friend could consider the RCJ Family Law Service, which is run by Islington CAB and is located in the Family Court building in London. I understand that it's incredibly busy, and of course it may be impractical for her if she lives too far way from London.

http://www.rcjadvice.org.uk/family-law/ ... -our-help/

[Clitheroekid]

A friend of mine is in the process of getting divorced, she has two school aged children and, by all accounts when the house is sold there will be little, if any, cash after husband ran up debts it appears upon the property.

The first thing to say is that it's not axiomatic that the house must be sold. The court's main concern is for the welfare of the children, and If it's better for them to stay in the house the court might transfer the house to her.

Unfortunately, from what you've said this probably wouldn't be feasible, as the husband presumably doesn't earn enough to keep paying the mortgage(s) and I assume she couldn't afford to do so by herself.

However, if the debt is solely in his name and isn't secured on the property he can't insist on selling the house just to bail himself out.

The biggest problem with divorces of this type is that there just isn't enough money to go round. It used to be the case (and presumably still is in London and a few other places) that the house would have increased in value by enough to provide a financial cushion when sold, but in many places this no longer applies and there is little, if any equity to share out.

One thing she should look at is whether or not he has any pension provision. This is often overlooked, particularly by people who are doing their own divorces, but it's sometimes the biggest asset. From what you've said I suspect it may not be of any significance in this case, but particularly now that pension funds are so much more accessible than they were they can sometimes provided an unexpected source of cash.

[bulltraderpt]

A friend of mine is in the process of getting divorced, she has two school aged children and, by all accounts when the house is sold there will be little, if any, cash after husband ran up debts it appears upon the property.

The first thing to say is that it's not axiomatic that the house must be sold. The court's main concern is for the welfare of the children, and If it's better for them to stay in the house the court might transfer the house to her.

Unfortunately, from what you've said this probably wouldn't be feasible, as the husband presumably doesn't earn enough to keep paying the mortgage(s) and I assume she couldn't afford to do so by herself.

However, if the debt is solely in his name and isn't secured on the property he can't insist on selling the house just to bail himself out.

The biggest problem with divorces of this type is that there just isn't enough money to go round. It used to be the case (and presumably still is in London and a few other places) that the house would have increased in value by enough to provide a financial cushion when sold, but in many places this no longer applies and there is little, if any equity to share out.

One thing she should look at is whether or not he has any pension provision. This is often overlooked, particularly by people who are doing their own divorces, but it's sometimes the biggest asset. From what you've said I suspect it may not be of any significance in this case, but particularly now that pension funds are so much more accessible than they were they can sometimes provided an unexpected source of cash.

First of all thank you very much for all your help, all of you.

Regarding the above, it really does look as though the people (in authority) are looking into doing exactly what you say regarding the house, she mentioned as she would need a 3 bed house, then a person she spoke to made some reference along the lines that it would be cheaper to keep them there than for the state to turf her out and the children out and put them all up in rented accommodation where it would be more expensive. But again the extent of the debts / mortgage I do not know, but this will come out in time I am sure.

Unfortunately the toad of a husband has ran up debts against her own credit cards and has committed fraud by opening up credit cards in her name by forging her signature. She is trying to find the paper work and see if there is anything the legal people can do. The bloke has maxed out his own cards and looks set on some kind of self destruction taking her financially down with it. I tried to impress on her about help regarding somehow getting these cards sorted or some kind of stop on them, but it isn't my area of expertise, and as much as it sounds unfeasible in this day and age, she doesn't do anything with computers, the internet, facebook, etc etc.

As I hadn't seen her for over a year because of her idiot husband, it will take time to build up the friendship again as it once was. She's coming around for dinner with my wife and I in the very near future so I might see if I can show her the websites people have mentioned, as she would have access to computers and the internet via the local library where she could get on line and ensure she's doing all she can regarding help, etc.

Thanks again for all your help.