Kids and cars

[GoSeigen]

Aaaaarghhh!

What do you do when your university-age son with a provisional licence takes your car without your knowledge -- to help with a job and just around the block -- and then damages it?

Probably a common occurrence for some but our kids are usually sensible so we're in relatively new territory!


GS

[kempiejon]

Look to the lessons you were able to impart when they were younger and realise young people's brains are still immature until later 20s.
Many young lads engage in risky/foolish activities around this stage it's hard wired/bred. Usually they'll leave the behaviour behind. Keep an eye out in case you've got a wrong 'un who doesn't shake it off as they finish development.

Could have been much worse. No one hurt, a teachable moment as I like to say.

[didds]

if he had a provisional licence - who was the licenced driver with him?

was he insured to drive it? (with a suitable driver with him of course)

[the0ni0nking]

I am assuming he took the car on his own and has presumably just damaged the car (as opposed to anyone or anything else).

So from the OPs perspective, there won't be an insurance claim because the insurance wouldn't be valid.

It's difficult to know if a financial penalty would work or not - if they are a student then hitting their finances probably isn't particularly helpful. If they are working then you could look to re-coup the costs of the repair etc.

I'd say the important thing for them to realise is that actions have consequences. I wouldn't be getting any outside agency involved but clearly that could be a potential bargaining chip if there is a lack of contrition.

[Lootman]

Be careful. The daughter of a friend of my wife's took out their car whilst on a provisional license. No adult driver with her of course.

No accident but she got stopped by a cop. And the end result was that the parent was ticketed for allowing this to happen. Specifically it was allowing the operation of an uninsured vehicle.

[88V8]

Be careful. The daughter of a friend of my wife's took out their car whilst on a provisional license. No adult driver with her of course.
No accident but she got stopped by a cop. And the end result was that the parent was ticketed for allowing this to happen. Specifically it was allowing the operation of an uninsured vehicle.

The offence is known as Permit No Insurance.
In this case the OP was unaware so that particular offence has not been committed.

Hopefully if any third party was involved he can pay them off without the authorities becoming engaged.

Damage... just scraped, or mangled? As to consequences for the son, if he has the means to pay for the damage then I would say that that should be required. Presumably he will be expecting the bank of Dad to subsidise him at uni, in which case I would deduct the cost from his stipend. Whatever, there should be a penalty/cost. He could have been banned from driving and fined, or run someone down and be in serious trouble, so he should not be allowed to regard it as trivial.

All this is bleedin' obvious and well known to the OP... dunno what else to say, really.

Not everyone who goes to university is mature and sensible all the time.

V8

[GoSeigen]

Thanks for the sympathy everyone!

I'm on a trip abroad leaving the missus in charge and this came on top of half a dozen other small problems that have piled a lot on her plate...

He's managed to break the back window of the car AND puncture a tyre both of which will need replacing. So small in the scheme of things and thankfully not worse this time. To be fair he was mortified and offered to pay for the damage. I don't deal well with these things, I find them very stressful.



kempiejon: yeah despite being a sensible lad I also did plenty of dumb/regrettable things at that age. Tried to shield my parents from them in general but I 'm sure I gave them stuff to worry about sometimes...

didds: yep, no-one with him. Fortunately he was only on public roads for all of 400m, the damage occurred on our property. He'll learn from it but I'd say in many ways his character is too conforming, it would be a shame if this made him even more conservative. Part of me wished he'd got away his minor indiscretion as his intentions were good...

the0ni0nking: exactly my thoughts throughout. He was very contrite and mortified and came to me immediately. But as I said it probably stressed me out as much as him!

Lootman: he's a bright kid, I don't think the possible consequences will be lost on him.

V8: Yes, agree. Regards the cost, that's a difficult one. As with many parents we have done everything possible to provide for our kids and pay both their university fees and living expenses. One feels that if he gave us the money we'd just be giving it back in a few weeks' time! He's been helping his mum out while I'm away, probably getting him to source replacement parts and arrange repairs will give him an insight into the extra hassle that has resulted.


GS
EDIT: Should add he's done a lot of driving and about to take his test so he probably wasn't a greater danger behind the wheel than the average newly qualified driver. He just got unlucky while in charge of a car without permission or supervision and without a licence!

[Gerry557]

Hopefully its something that will just cost you some money.

If the police had been involved he would be looking at TWOC, no insurance etc. So fines and points on his licence. This would have longer term increased costs of motoring going forward.

I would make them watch a few episodes of Police Camera Action, Traffic Cops etc. The location of car keys would be another assessment I would make. Then make him walk to uni carrying all his stuff unless he gets a job and pays you back

[Adamski]

Sounds like lessons learned and no one hurt. That's the important thing. Had a school friend killed in a car accident at aged 17. at 17-18 lot drive like lunatics. Hence why insurance so high.

[DrFfybes]

Sounds like lessons learned and no one hurt. That's the important thing. Had a school friend killed in a car accident at aged 17. at 17-18 lot drive like lunatics. Hence why insurance so high.

Vehicle accidents are still the biggest cause of teenage/adolescent death and injury in the developed world and about a quarter of collisions involve drivers under 25 (who apparently only do 7% of the total mileage).

Not helped by adolescent influences, in our day it was Burt Reynolds and the Dukes of Hazzard, where major crashes resulted in slightly dazed drivers emerging unscathed. These days I gather video games have a similar skewing of the actual consequence of crashing a car.

Paul

[didds]

The offence is known as Permit No Insurance.
In this case the OP was unaware so that particular offence has not been committed.

So TWOCing instead! Which i suspect carries (for the TWOCer) a far greater penalty...

[stevensfo]

At the tender age of c.21, I had my parents' place to myself for a few weeks over summer and invited my girlfriend to visit.

I'd had quite a few driving lessons so considered myself an expert driver. Haha! No way!

I drove my mum's big car to pick her up from the station and did so with my heart going at light speed and blood pressure off the scale.

On the way back, I was showing off and turned into our road too fast, doing a typical very loud tyre screech, curing my constipation and getting religion!

I honestly can't remember how she got back to the station, but I think we walked.

Steve

PS It may be a modern thing, cos our eldest has scraped or dented every car he's driven!