I’d say the biggest risk to your plans is the expense of the family. £5k for a holiday doesn’t seem very much if you have children to pay for, tied to peak season and once they are 12 or so they cost the same as adults. Also all the extra curriculars. Next most difficult issue, not unrelated, is deciding how much frontloading of withdrawals is possible - of course the more you withdraw early the more risk there is of running out. The less you withdraw the greater the risk of compromising yours and families lifestyle (spending less than you could) and ending up with surplus in your 80s.
Otherwise it looks good. Without doing any fancy modelling I’d say taking the DB early is probably a good plan. Preserving investments for the longer term is likely to help with inflation proofing.
Regarding pooled finances, I accept that’s something you are reluctant to change and I understand not wanting to feel dependent. However, from a purely financial point of view, it is far more efficient to plan as a single unit (even if accounts and assets are largely kept separately, that’s just a practical detail if you are planning together). It does require a shift in mindset to transcend feelings of dependence, and this is something that comes about gradually in my experience. I’m no longer earning enough to cover ‘my’ spending, for the first time under-earning my spouse, but I don’t feel ‘dependent’ because in my mind it is all one pot jointly owned (and I have certainly made a good contribution to it). If I had to label it ‘his and hers’ it would just be split down the middle.
I am also confident that you will find some paid work, if you want it, especially if you develop new interests and skills.